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a mother's heart

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a favorite gift

on Christmas day she was showered with many presents. some were big and some were small,  but this one;  it was one of her favorites. oh, to be 3 again.

 

 

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steal my show l a mother's heart

  many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand. proverbs 19:21

i was riding with my oldest daughter one evening recently to get ice cream when she asked me if we could put some music on through my iphone.   i said sure, and the next thing i knew we were singing and praising the Lord as we drove down the road.   it isn't a secret that our family loves to worship through music and that my children are very familiar with Christian artists and radio. this particular song choice was one i wanted to keep playing over and over again.  and the words continue to play on in my head.  the song is called : steal my show by toby mac.  you can read the lyrics here and also hear a sample from this song. these words speak to my life and i wanted to share them, because perhaps they would speak to yours as well.

If You wanna steal my show I'll sit back and watch You go If You got somethin' to say Go on and take it away Need You to steal my show Can't wait to watch You go, oh, oh So take it away

as i  work in our home as a mother, wife and teacher,  or act as a friend to those i love, or share my photography;  my wish, is for Him to "steal my show".   i want the Lord to use me in the way only He knows and has planned.  i wish to glorify Him in my actions in every area of my life.   and yes, i want God to take me over, to take all parts of me and use them.  as Toby Mac says in his interview about this song:   "no matter what you do or who you are, you have a life.  you can take it and make it yours or give it away and let God do something bigger with it than you ever imagined."

my prayer today is that i will never stop giving my life to God and that i will seek His plans and His glory and not my own.

these pictures are of my youngest daughter doing a little "show" of her own.  in these images,  i can clearly see God and His amazing work  in our home and i am blown away at all He has done for us.

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words i will not forget l a mother's heart

last week  i was at my computer finishing the last of my editing for the busy fall photography season.  i have to admit during the month of november, with all of the shoots i had scheduled, it seemed like i was editing in every spare moment i had.    in addition to being a photographer, mother, and wife, i am also my children's teacher. we have now homeschooled our children for the past two years.   you can read about this decision more here, but it was by far one of the best God led decisions our family has ever made. as i sat at the table, my 8 year old daughter came up to me, and asked me to do something with her.  at this time, i cannot remember what that something was, but i told her i had a lot of work to finish and i would play later.   and then the words she said came out and i can still hear them loudly in my head.  to be honest, it's hard for me to even write about this but i need to.   this week i came across a blog called the hands free mama and i have been blessed to get to know the writer, Rachel through emails.   i have been so inspired by her honesty and open heart.  i feel as mothers we all need to be authentic. we need to share not only the joys on our journeys as mothers,  but share our lessons as well. today i am here to share the words my daughter said, which i can not let free from my head. you see, she told me "you never play with me. you are always on your computer"   wow.  those words stung in my ears like no other.

at that moment i felt sick to my stomach, sad, and angry with myself.  i am with my children all day, every day.  i bake with them, i craft with them, i do daily devotions with them, we school together...i really could go on an on.   i do not think  that i am a mother missing out on my children's childhood in any way.  and i do know that children can have a way of exaggerating the way they are feeling, but even so, the words hurt.  they really made me look at my priorities and commitments and reflect.  how often do i play on "their terms"?   how often, do i stop whatever it is i am doing and say sure let's go?  it's easy to play when i've planned the craft or activity to fit our daily schedule.  but it isn't always easy to stop something we are doing (which may very well  be important) to go play.  is it always easy to play in the backyard with the kids  (no, not be out there while they play, but really play with them)?  is it easy to stop what we are doing and play a board game when asked?  the list could go on.

we've been blessed that  i can stay home with our children.  my photography business started as a passion and a  way of giving back to others in my community.  i realized this year that i cannot keep up at the pace i was going and make everyone happy.  my home life was neglected during this crazy time of shooting other families and that is not acceptable to me as the mother of our home.   i have decided that in 2013 i will be doing much less work and not shooting  at all after September.   as much as i love to share this gift; being a mother, wife, and teacher are the priorities God has given me at this point in my life.  i don't want to neglect those duties, because i over-committed myself outside of our home.

i believe that as mothers we have to have our own loves and interests. we need to pursue something we love outside of motherhood.  i have always done this and feel it is very important.  i have no intention of giving up this passion, because i know that God gives each of us our talents and places these passions on our heart. i pray for His guidance in showing me what He has planned for me to do with this gift and how i can glorify Him through it.

as any mother that works from home can testify to, boundaries have to be set.    i let myself take on so much work, outside of our home, that boundaries got lost and the work overtook my home.  each day there has to be a "set time" when work is done.  in addition, time for house chores, cooking, etc. are planned each day, so that expectations are in place. this is easier said than done, but in 2013, my plan is to try my best to do better.  i say try, because i know i will always fall short of being perfect. i just don't want to miss any moment with my children because i let other priorities take precedence.

one afternoon this week  my daughter came and asked me to do origami with her.   and yes, a bathroom was calling my name to get cleaned.  my husband can testify to the fact that that bathroom was pretty awful.  but i set my bucket down and i went and did origami with my cherished 8 year old.  we had the best time laughing and talking and just being together.   i love my children so much and i just pray they will feel my never ending love for them deep in their hearts.

 

 

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something more than making banana bread l a mother's heart

"photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. what you have caught on film is captured forever. . . it remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything." -Aaron Sussman over the weekend my youngest two children joined me in making banana bread.   really, this could be just an ordinary event, but i try to look at everything in our home as a treasured moment.  every moment is a gift from God and we have the opportunity to make these moments extraordinary each and every day.  i started taking pictures long before having children, but my passion came alive in a unique way as i captured the every day life i experience as a mother.   it's so true that pictures will give us a way to remember all the little things we may not remember years from now.  i will see these pictures i captured while baking and remember the wonder my three year old experienced as she turned the mixer on and off over and over again.  and i will remember the frustration she felt while  peeling the banana all by herself.

recently,  i have come to a new realization.  the pictures are indeed amazing gifts that i will have to cherish forever.   i know i will relive these moments time and time again as i look through past memories. but truly the gift is experiencing  the actual moments with my children.   i cannot explain to you in words what i feel during these moments spent with my children, but it is an incredible feeling.   i've learned the more moments i let unfold, just as they normally would, not posed or pre -meditated; the more i feel them and live them with my children.  i laughed so hard yesterday as i watched our baby girl do her best to add flour to the bowl, while spilling most of it at her feet.   i showed her it was okay to mess up, and to try again.   i felt so much joy as i saw my two children giggling about the smell of the dough and deciding if they liked it or not.  you see the experience is the best gift of all.  i want our albums to be filled with authenticity. in addition,  i want to give thanks and glory to the One who has made these moments possible.  photography has definitely been a gift that has given me much more than the tangible blessing of pictures.  it has slowed me down in ways, because as i look at all the pictures i've taken, i am keenly aware of how fleeting my time with our children really is.   my eyes see things in a new way that takes in all of the beauty around me in all the every day moments.  beauty as magnificent as the sun or as simple as my children in the kitchen.  there is certainly beauty and wonder in everything.  God has used this journey to touch my life in ways i never dreamed.  to say i am grateful doesn't seem to say enough.

over the weekend my husband sent me a link to a video on an interview by Christy Nockels, a Christian artist, discussing her new album Into the Glorious.  in all things i see God's purpose and plan.  my husband had NO idea i was writing this post  and when i opened the you tube video and heard her words it was as if my husband knew exactly what has been stirring in my heart.  i am amazed by God's hand in our lives..truly amazed.   there was something she said during her interview that i could relate to in such a strong way.  another mother had shared this wisdom with her and i want to share it with you.  " you can invite the glorious into the mundane.  there is an invitation that is present to us in our everyday lives as mothers, students, as workers in the workplace. there's this invitation to us in to the glorious things of who He is. "  you see, ordinary moments in your home are anything but ordinary when you invite God into your life.  the most simple activities are the most beautiful gifts from God as you allow Him to work through you and for you.  its about so much more to me than pictures of making banana bread (or painting, or crafting, or reading)---it's about the glorious i am finding right here in the mundane.  and realizing the every day is so much more than mundane.

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independence l a mother's heart

i know it's only an orange. yes, its just a simple picture of our baby girl, peeling her own orange.  but to me, the mother of this sweet 3 year old, it's a lot more.  it's her saying "i dood it mom".  it's finding the independence that she wants and me giving her the baby steps to try new things.  all the while, i want to take her in my arms and tell her not to ever grow up.  it's harder in ways with her, our third child.  it's harder because i've seen how fast the time goes by with our oldest daughter of 8 and our middle son of 6.  so i try to slow her down, but some days there is no stopping her.  today she sat and peeled her own orange-she didn't want mama's help.  so of course, i picked up my camera and documented it.  don't let these moments that seem so ordinary at the time slip past you.  you don't have to have a fancy camera or be a pro to record your family's milestones.  grab your phone or whatever you have. just capture it.  i can promise you that you'll be so happy you did.

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the quieter side to three l a mother's heart

yesterday i posted about a breakout session with anne wick i bought through the clickin moms website.  if you missed all of the details you can go back to the post here.  today i felt challenged to take some pictures of my three year old. i am always able to capture her vibrant and loving personality, but capturing the quieter and more curious side to her is more of a challenge.   i spent a few moments just hanging out with her, talking to her and observing her.   one thing holds constant, this little love of mine, expresses her thoughts and feelings in her eyes so much.   love her. now, if you haven't bought anne's break out session, what are you waiting for?   only a few days left to go get yourself a copy.

 

 

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connecting l a mother's heart

this week i bought a breakout session from clickin moms called:  connected l shooting from the heart with anne wick.  honestly, i bought this on a whim after seeing a friend post a link to it on her facebook page. at that moment i headed over to anne's photography facebook page and fell in love with her work.  i became curious about her breakout session. i feel confident in connecting with my subjects, but there was still something i was able to take from her session that resonated with me in a new and wonderful way.  i love that about this art.  fellow artists can truly push us and ignite our creativity in ways we didn't even know we needed.   after only skimming through the pdf, i decided i wanted to try one of the exercises with my oldest daughter.  and in a matter of 15 minutes i was able to capture these pictures.  i am so drawn to the variety of expressions i was able to get and the realness in every one of these images.  and once again, thank you anne.

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a look inside l a mother's heart

it only take a few moments, to stop, observe, and capture the special connections i see daily in our home. these are the  memories i want to hold close to my heart forever and i am so glad i stopped this morning to do this.

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i am thankful personal post l final week

thank you for joining me the past month for this wonderful project and reflection. the little, the big, the everyday, the extraordinary; they are all blessings i never want to take for granted. i am thankful day 22- i am so grateful that my children are getting to grow up with their cousins all so close. and that they truly are all the best of friends.

i am thankful day 23- i am thankful for hot chocolate on a chilly florida morning and snuggling with daddy's childhood blankey ♥

i am thankful day 25-i am so grateful for the baby of our family. for the joy and laughter she fills our house with. i will never forget when she was in the NICU as a preemie and her dr. said she was a "super star"...she's lived up to that name ever since. she's so full of life and love. we are all blessed.

i am thankful day 24-i am so thankful to live on the lake. it is such a blessing to have this as our back yard now. most days you will find our children happy as can be playing and building in the sand down by the water.

i am thankful day 26- i am grateful and in complete awe of God's amazing creations. when i look around at everything He created for us to enjoy, i am amazed ! from my beautiful children, to the earth and sun...there are so many creations that just leave me speechless.

i am thankful day 27- i am thankful for moments like these. when i see the laughter, spontaneity, and love between my three children. nothing makes my heart more warm and filled. so blessed to be their mama.

i am thankful day 28-thankful for movie nights with the family. {especially nice during the Christmas season--love the Christmas movies}

i am thankful day 29-today i am thankful for pictures. i am grateful for the stories they tell. when i look at our stairwell of memories, i am flooded with emotions and thanksgiving. i am thankful for all of my family..each person whom i love dearly. but especially my husband of 13 plus years. i couldn't be more blessed with a giving and loving man. but most of all, a leader of Christ in our home. i see these pictures and i am reminded how blessed we are.

i am thankful day 30- i am thankful that Jesus came and made the ultimate sacrifice. without Him, i would be nothing. without Him, none of these blessings would be. i am humbled and grateful and blessed to be His.

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the jesse tree l a mother's heart

our children are now 8, 6 and 3 and  they all are excited for the arrival of Christmas and all of the festivities that come along with this special time of year.  i have to admit, like many mother's, i am concerned about the focus of my children's hearts during this holiday.   in our home, we do celebrate santa, the elf on the shelf, and other similar playful traditions, but our main focus is on the birth of Christ--the true and ONLY reason for this holiday.  my husband and i both want our children to realize that this time of year is about one gift and that is the gift of our Savior Jesus.  with this heavy on my heart, i have been looking for more ways to center our home's traditions on Him.  one of the ideas that i saw through my researching was doing a Jesse Tree.  i saw that one of my friends had "pinned" quite a few links on this and i was quite intrigued   i couldn't believe this was the first i had heard of this concept.   i ended up on this site, which was very helpful in my planning.  she had some great ornaments, prayer cards, and Scripture references.  i also loved this site, which had some great ways of using the Jesus Storybook Bible (which we already use)..for this project.   i decided that we would do our trees fairly simple this year as we introduced this idea to our children.  in future years, i hope to create something more permanent to use for our home.  in addition to the links i shared above i also came across this other idea of Advent Gift Boxes.  this year instead of putting candy in our advent calendar, i will have messages like these to share with my children.   and if you are looking for even more information on all of the Holy Day holidays, my friend just started her own site on this as well.  as i mentioned before, there were lots of great sites and links on pinterest--just find what suits your family the best.

 

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matilda jane photo love 2012 l round two

i was super excited and surprised a few weeks ago to receive the news that i made it to round two of the matilda jane photo love contest.  i have been a lover of the matilda jane clothing line since attending my first trunk show last summer.  i love it because it is fun and unique for my 8 year old daughter;  but not too grown up, like many other lines of clothing offered for tween girls.  and my 3 year old daughter loves it as well.  ( but to be honest, she is just as happy wearing her panties for the day, clothing is always optional with her) for round two of the photo love contest, each contestant was sent an outfit and a word.   when i opened my package and saw my word i couldn't be more delighted.  it was as if they picked the word just for my daughter. she is such a true blessing in our lives and anyone that knows her, knows what a special soul she is.

sincere

according to merriam webster's dictionary:

a : free of dissimulation : honest <a sincere interest>  b : free from adulteration : pure <a sincere doctrine><sincere wine>

2    : marked by genuineness : true

i decided that i would forgo using any props and shoot my entry in the style i normally shoot. after all, my word was sincere.   i felt like this not only suited my daughter's personality, but my own style of photography.  here is a peek at the shoot we enjoyed together. it really was fun to get out and have this time just the two of us. 

 

thank you matilda jane for this special opportunity.

 

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i am thankful personal project l week 2

"gratitude is the memory of the heart."  ~Jean Baptiste Massieu i have been working on a daily personal project of gratitude during the month of november.  you can see my week one post here.  this week i am here to share my past 7 days of thanks.  as i take time each day to reflect on the people and things i am thankful for, my heart becomes full of memories and love.   it has been such a gift to me to be able to realize daily that even the most simple things in life are what make it hugely wonderful.

i am thankful day 8- today i am grateful for the wonderful "cool front" that has brought beautiful fall weather to florida the past two days. cool enough for a jacket, but not too cold for bare feet.

i am thankful day 9- today i am grateful for the lessons that the gift of motherhood brings into my life-- even when I struggle through hard moments such as these. it is a reminder that through all of these times God is refining me into the person he has planned for me to become♥

i am thankful day 10- i am so grateful that whenever we want to visit my parents and ANY of my siblings and their families, that they are only a walk (scooter or skateboard ride) away. so blessed to live so close to family after being gone for so many years♥

i am thankful day 11-today i am grateful for the many mini-messes i find like these on our back porch. it reminds me that we are blessed to have three healthy children who love to play together and play outside. a simple but huge blessing indeed.

i am thankful day 12- today i am thankful for baby dolls. they really take my girls into a world of their own and bring so much joy into our house ♥

i am thankful day 13- today i am thankful that i had a mother who took the time to do fun traditions with us as children (like making Christmas cookies) & i feel even more grateful now to share these same traditions with my own babies. time with your children--i don't think there is a more precious gift

i am thankful day 14-i am so thankful for all of the sources of technology we are blessed with today. certainly, there is a time and place for it all (and yes, it can be a distraction) but it has also brought us so much joy in many different ways. skype calls with daddy while he is countries apart, emails and phone calls from friends and family far away, videos of moments never to be forgotten, and resources to be used at the tip of our fingers....(only to name a few.)

 

 

 

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10 on 10 l the november edition

"the days are so long, but the years are so short"  -excerpt from the happiness project i remember distinctly typing this quote almost a year ago as our group started this project together and here we are almost twelve months later. the years simply fly by much too quickly. no day is an ordinary day as the mother of my three children.  every day is a new adventure -some days we find fun and laughter; some days bring tears and trials; while others are filled with questions, sickness, triumphs, and surprises.  but most importantly, our days are filled with love.  and this love will be constant no matter how many years go by.  today, i share my last 10 on 10 for the year.  the ordinary moments are extraordinary when shared with those you love the most. today i have 10 moments from JUST ONE beautiful day shared with my children.   i hope you enjoy.  

thank you for following this project this year.   to continue on with our blog circle please head on over to the blog of Elizabeth Jane Photo and see what her day included this month.

 

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just us l november 2012

“...you are my rainbow to keep. my eyes will always be watching you; never will i lose sight of you.”  -vesna bailey welcome back for this month's edition of just us. i love that this project has made me more aware of getting in the pictures with my children. this month's pictures really show it can be fun to do.  my kid's love playing with the remote..so one morning, while still in jammies, my oldest daughter and i had a little fun in bed.   snuggling in my bed is our favorite spot to be. since she was little, she has been our most snuggly, touchy baby.   she is the only one of our three children, that you will find in between us in bed at some point, every night.   she's a truly lovely soul and we are so blessed to call her our daughter.

once awake for the day, the baby of the family decided she wanted in on the fun.  i couldn't say no, now could I?!

please continue on and see what the talented Misty Setzler l Lubbock, TX photographer has captured of her family this month.

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i am thankful personal project l week 1

november is always a crazy time of the year as we prepare for the Holiday season.   it seems that between fall activities with our children, sports, holiday photo sessions, and just life...the days really are filled to the max. this year i wanted to take the time each day to be grateful for the many blessings in my life.   i decided to do this as a photo project.  some of these are HUGE blessings and some of them are the little things that make my life complete.  each week during november i will share my daily photos... I am thankful day 1- i am thankful for this time with my children-not only as their mother but as their teacher. God has blessed us in so many ways. today we created our thankful tree. (without prompting from me, i love that Ellie was thankful for having family around and Mason for God--and little Caroline yelled Jesus--for sure that was probably what she "thought" she should say, but so happy HE is on her mind ♥

 I am thankful day 2- so thankful for my firstborn--for the gift of becoming a mother and for the bond we share. she truly has a beautiful soul that is more than I could have ever dreamed for. she has been my rock in so many times when I've been "running the house" alone with my husband deployed. so grateful for this love in my life!

I am thankful day 3- today i am thankful for the simple things that bring so much joy. bare feet in november and the wonderful world of dress up.

I am thankful day 4-  today and every Sunday i am thankful for this time to go to church as a family to learn, grow and worship together. we are so blessed to live in a country where we can freely do this

I am thankful day 5 - i am grateful today for the gift of sisterhood. i feel so blessed to have 2 amazing sisters who i now live so close to AND i am also incredibly thankful to see my daughters have each other as sisters... "A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life." ~Isadora James

 I am thankful day 6- today i am so thankful for our only son that is sandwiched in between his two sisters. for the love he brings all of us and his crazy zest for life. we are so blessed that they have him to look out for them and LOVE them..AND to show them another world --apart from dress-ups, baby dolls, and other girly fun. here they are off to have a rock throwing contest. LOVE!!

I am thankful day 7- so grateful for the natural light that pours into our house.  we have huge windows in every room of our house which is such a blessing when capturing my three babes at home.  never forget the small things that bring joy in life.

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