I remember someone telling me years ago that in life we are all either going through something, getting over something, or about to head into something. To be honest, that thought made me anxious. I wanted to think that heartache and suffering were somehow avoidable.
Now, I realize that suffering is a part of each of our lives. I see it differently, because God has shown me through each valley and each heartache that His plan is never without purpose. Knowing this doesn't make suffering easier, but it now gives me a peace I didn't understand when I wasn't seeking God daily. His promises have become my strength.
You were born almost 8 weeks premature and through your stay in the NICU your doctor named you "superstar." He was amazed at how well you progressed during your time in the hospital. I became very ill before your delivery and remained ill for some time afterwards. I remember the fear I felt during that time. I couldn't take care of myself, you, or Bubby and Sissy. I was scared and heartbroken in ways I had never known.
Five years later, I can see how I grew so much through that experience. I grew closer to God and I began to let go of the control I tried to have on life. I began to seek peace and comfort in His plan for me, and started to let go of worry and anxiety which at times had consumed me.
I was recently listening to a sermon and the pastor shared these profound words. “God lets us get into situations that seem impossible in order to bring us to the end of our self, so He can give us our best. Don’t underestimate what He will use.”
No matter what suffering you face, I want the three of you to know the same peace and comfort I have found through Christ . The comfort of knowing we don’t have to understand it all, but to remember His love has overcome all pain. We just have to remember to seek Him.
As I talk to mothers, I find that many are struggling to find purpose in their days. Whether they stay home or they work outside of the home. They ache to know there is value in this season.
The subtle signs of Fall.
Each morning, before I get out of bed, my prayer is for God to use me that day. To be the mother you all need. Hours quickly pass and no matter what my intent, there are days that I fail.
Mimi and Popi brought over some books that I had when I was a child. You have enjoyed these books so much. I loved seeing the inscription that I wrote myself when I was a child in one of the books. It's funny because I love when people write inscriptions in books now. It must have started when I was a child.
I love that we are surrounded by family. I love that you can walk to see your cousins, your aunts and uncles and your grandparents. After living away for so many years, I will never take this for granted. I hope you all don't either.
It rained almost every day last week. One morning we were at the table doing school work, when we noticed it was raining again, only this time the sun was still shining. The three of you headed outside and played in the rain until you were drenched. We got off schedule for the day and wet clothes and towels were all over the floors, but it was such a reminder of how wonderful it can be to let go of expectations.
All three of you are playing soccer this Fall, which means we are at the field a lot. I am so grateful for the wide open spaces for you to play when it is not your night to practice.
You fell in love with this $7 butterfly necklace at the gift store this week. We were in line paying for it when something else in the store caught your attention. You quickly tapped me on the leg and asked if you could get two things. I explained that you couldn't and began to pay the cashier. At this point you started to ask fervently.This escalated into a tantrum as we left the gift shop. I was disappointed, upset, embarrassed and mad at the way you behaved. I told you that you would not get the necklace until a later time because of your behavior.
Today, we enjoyed a beautiful day at a local garden. You did some school work, painted, sketched, explored, and played for a few hours. As I watched you all play and work together, I was filled with such gratitude.
I will never forget the year Big Sissy started Kindergarten. It seemed like our time together was always rushed and always too short. The school days seemed long and the family time was never enough.
We were so excited to welcome cousin number 10 into the world on Friday. He is perfect.
You have such a gift with younger children. Your heart really shines when you are around your cousins.
It really is something beautiful to see the love between your children. I hope you girls will always be the best of friends. Having a sister to share life with is really a special gift from God.
This was a moment I could have easily missed. This is our daily life. This is our ordinary. Our sweet Buster Brown will turn 15 next month. This year we have started to see his health decline and we all realize we don't have forever with our fury friend. You do your school work and eat your meals during the day, with Buster at your feet; without even noticing him. Sadly, the day will come that you notice he isn't there. So, today I took time to record this moment. This beautiful mundane.
We stayed at the Animal Kindgom Resort at Disney for your birthday. This morning, you woke up sick. You stayed in bed and enjoyed the pretty view until you were feeling better. I am so thankful that you started to feel better and got to have a little time at the pool before we left.