a letter at seven

Happy Birthday Superstar,

It's hard to put into words how grateful I am to be your mother. Seven years ago you came into our world almost 2 months early. Each year, I think back on that time and feel so thankful for God's plan and provision. You surprised everyone,even your NICU doctor, with your health and growth. He told us you were a Superstar and you have held true to that name.

You continue to be full of life and love. You are passionate about creating; painting, making art from whatever you find; using your imagination in beautiful ways. You love to dance and sing.  I often hear your sweet voice in the back of the car and it always makes me smile. You are strong willed and tell it like it is. You love with all of your heart and want reassurance that you are important and loved too. In December, you became a big sister. At first you had reservations, but slowly I have seen you take on the big sister role in such a wonderful way. This year you've learned to read, lost your first two teeth, and learned to tie your shoes.

I want to remind you to not be in such a hurry to grow up. To stay little. Childhood is such a brief season. I want you to savor every moment of it. 

Most of all,  I love you so much. I thank God for your life and for the blessing you continue to be to us all. God has taught me so much about love and about grace through being your mama.

"I love you so much. I'll never forget. "

xoxo, mama

our annual week at the Gulf

"Some old-fashioned things like fresh air and sunshine are hard to beat" -Laura Ingalls Wilder

Every Summer we spend a week at the Gulf  with my parents, siblings, and all of the cousins. We always look forward this special time away. It really is one of my favorite places to be. Today, I am sharing a glimpse into this beautiful week on the coast. 

I am linking up with a group of fabulous friends that I have posted with the past few years as part of a 10 on 10 project. This year, we are just making it a goal to post once a month. No rules or themes, just us. Please follow the link over to Melissa Weiker's blog. She is sharing some of her memories from August. Her work is always so soulful; you won't be disappointed.

what a week at the gulf looks like

Every year we spend a week at the Gulf with my parents, my siblings, and all of the cousins. The children and adults alike countdown to this memorable week. I love the memories that are made sharing space and unrushed time together for seven days.  There really is something special when you spend days and nights living among one another and having time to just linger. With almost ten grandchildren this year, it was also filled with a bit of chaos, but in a good way. Today, I share with you What a Week at the Gulf Looks Like .  I don't think I could ever accurately share our week together, so I have picked some of my favorites. There really is something magical about the Gulf.

Head on over to see what talented Ashley Jennet | The Stork and the Beanstalk has shared this month.

let your light shine

Technically, summer is not over.  And in all reality, summer never really ends completely in Florida. Right?!  It seems like just yesterday we were closing our books for  a few months to enjoy summer break. Yet, here we are starting a new school year. How does it always happen so fast? I savor and linger and the days still fly by with lightening speed. This year our children will be in 5th grade, 2nd grade, and pre-K. It is our fourth year homeschooling. I've learned so much from the past three years and made some changes for the year ahead. I feel like there is an ongoing learning process of trial and error as we teach our children.

One thing I seem to forget each year as I am planning our first day back to homeschooling, is that the kids aren't really thrilled to be back to the school routine. And honestly, I can't blame them. We've all had so much fun staying up late,  sleeping in,  swimming, playing, visiting, and doing fun non-routine activities. I think it is really hard for our children (and me) to say goodbye to the carefree days of summer break. After a few days back to homeschooling, we all realize that it is good for us to add some discipline back in our schedule; and there is still plenty of time for playing. This way of life allows much flexibility to our days (like starting at 9:00 or later) and there can be some positive aspects to routine.

Our morning started with a big breakfast, followed by devotional time, and cleaning up the kitchen. When finished, we headed into the school room. This year on our first day we started with a fun activity. Each child answered some questions about themselves and then they shared with each other. We have one child who wants to be a soccer player, another who dreams of map making, and a third who would love to be an animal doctor.  They each shared one thing they were good at and one thing they needed to work on. I loved when our 4 year old said she was good at painting, but needed to work on "attitudes." I love her sweet spirit. Our school day ended with tie dye, which we have done annually since our first year homeschooling. The kids look forward to this every year. We finished just in time to head out the door to soccer practice. All three children are playing soccer this Fall, so we spend a lot of time at the fields.

To be completely real, our first day wasn't as smooth or joyful as I would have hoped. As I mentioned before, everyone wasn't excited to be saying goodbye to summer, and there was some complaining and irritability. There were times during the day that I felt a bit defeated. Before school that morning, I wrote let your light shine on our chalk board. These four words were ones that I wanted to define our new school year. As the day progressed, I didn't see the light; instead, I felt frustrated and impatient.

I have had time to reflect this week. I realized that every year, the first day "back to homeschooling" has been challenging.  Day two is always much easier and we begin to have a much better rhythm and flow. Once again, I was reminded of my need for grace for myself and our children. I need to let go of expectations that I sometimes create for all of us. I need to remember that transition can be hard for adults and kids alike.

As I look back on the day through the images I captured, I see the day with fresh eyes. I see the relationships between our children, I can hear the conversations we shared during the day, and remember memories we made.  I see the light. I see the light of Jesus throughout our home. Sometimes, His light is so subtle, yet it is so beautiful when we really take the time to see it. My prayer for our children is that they will not only let His light shine through them, but that they will take time to see His light every day.

A thousand times I've failed. Still your mercy remains. And should I stumble again. Still I'm caught in your grace Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades. Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame. -"Inside Out" Hillsong United

just us at sunrise

It is rare to find any of our children or myself up before sunrise.  This week we were up early every day so we could get to Vacation Bible School. One morning we had some extra time before we had to leave. Our middle child and only son loves to fish, so we shared some time together just the two of us. I love when I get time with any of our children one on one. The water and the light were beautiful, but our talks by the lake were the real highlight of this morning.

meeting the ducklings

This week we were so excited that our cousins' new ducklings were old enough for us to visit. We spent one afternoon playing, chasing, and watching these sweet girls. The kids keep asking when we are going to get our own. Right now, we are going to live vicariously through our cousins but I am very tempted to make the purchase. They were so sweet and cute..and seeing the kids with them was precious.

blueberry picking at crown jewel farms

We spent the morning at a local blueberry farm enjoying the blue skies, cool breezes, and sweet berries.  Crown Jewel Farms is a beautiful place to take your whole family to experience picking organic locally grown blueberries.  The kids all had such a fun time and we can't wait to make lots of smoothies, blueberry muffins and other yummy treats.  Head on over to their site to get information about pricing, location, and hours of operation.

embracing today for Him

This week I was listening to the radio when one of the artists began talking about God's purpose for our days here on Earth.  He said how many of us are running through life at this incredible pace.  He continued to share how many people are  living for the day to be over, so they can get to the next day, or the next weekend, or the next vacation.   Parents are waiting for their children to get older, so they can do life differently. Many parents, and even students, are wishing away the school year; dreaming of summer, when things will become slower. People are working jobs, with hopes of finding the next better one.   Others are waiting for their next big accomplishment; a new house, a new car, a new whatever the "it" thing is for them.   

God did not intend for our lives to be this hurried rush.  He gives us our days to use for His glory and His purpose.   I believe He wants us to soak Him in and to take time for relationships with others.   He commands us to love others.  We can't fully love others if we aren't slowing down enough to appreciate "the now". We aren't ever completely enjoying our days, if we are rushing on to the next one.

As I listened to this artist speak, I knew I had been guilty of this mindset myself.  Many times my husband has been gone on deployments or overseas for work, and I counted the days down until he returned.  The past few weeks have been filled with obstacles in our home.  We encountered a broken dryer, a broken fridge, a broken air unit, a flooded bathroom, and a tree falling in our driveway, which had to be removed after smashing our neighbor's car. During these weeks, I let the stress add up, and my days became a blur.  I went from one day to the next, just surviving.

I have made a conscious effort the past few years to really live a slower pace of life. We home school our children and spend a lot of quality time as a family. We love the outdoors and you can often find us relaxing and enjoying God's beauty around us.   We limit our outside activities and commitments and try to appreciate each day.  I realized as I thought back on the past month, that I am great at embracing today, until today, goes off course.  It is then that I often, let the distractions affect my mood and my focus.  God tells us in Psalm 46: 10 to "be still, and know I am God."

He doesn't want us to do life on our own. We have to sit still and delight in today for Him. We need to do this so we can hear Him and to be assured that He has our life in His hands.  He wants us to come to Him and leave our worries, our problems, our dreams and desires all at His feet.  As we do this, we can better enjoy the life we have today, just as it is.

This week I have slowly felt our normal routine take hold again. I have spent time being still and it feels exceedingly better than over tired, stressed and empty. These moments of stillness are always good for my soul.

One night I watched my youngest while she played with one of her cousins.  The big siblings were off at church and these two were enjoying the beautiful summer like evening. I now look at these images and can't help but think how children really embrace today for all it is.  They live in the moment and soak up the glory of now.  It is a beautiful thing.

Kaleidoscope | April

Last year I became friends with a very special group of ladies and participated together in a 10 on 10 project.  This year we wanted to continue to do a project together, but wanted to do something a little different.  Our new project is called Kaleidoscope.

Kaleidoscope  is derived from the Ancient Greek (kalos), “beautiful, beauty” (eidos), “that which is seen: form, shape” and (skopeo), “to look to, to examine.”  Hence “observation of beautiful forms.”

We are a group of friends, moms, visual artists and photographers from around the world who are passionate about capturing images of the real, the messy and the magical-the wonder of the everyday.  Like a kaleidoscope, our photographs are playful and experimental, ever-changing and infused with light and colour.  Once a month, we assemble a single mosaic comprised of our collective pictorial tiles, one submitted by each of us, that reflect the shared meaning and beauty in our lives.

This month I captured a Sunday Family Night dinner at our home.  The days are getting longer and we are enjoying longer days down by the lake and in the back yard. I am always grateful to get all of our family together on a weekly basis.

kaleidoscope | march

Last year I became friends with a very special group of ladies and participated together in a 10 on 10 project.  This year we wanted to continue to do a project together, but wanted to do something a little different.  Our new project is called Kaleidoscope.

Kaleidoscope  is derived from the Ancient Greek (kalos), “beautiful, beauty” (eidos), “that which is seen: form, shape” and (skopeo), “to look to, to examine.”  Hence “observation of beautiful forms.”

We are a group of friends, moms, visual artists and photographers from around the world who are passionate about capturing images of the real, the messy and the magical-the wonder of the everyday.  Like a kaleidoscope, our photographs are playful and experimental, ever-changing and infused with light and colour.  Once a month, we assemble a single mosaic comprised of our collective pictorial tiles, one submitted by each of us, that reflect the shared meaning and beauty in our lives.

This month I captured an afternoon strawberry picking. This is one of our favorite Spring Break traditions.  This local farm is such a sweet place to visit. I am always in such surprise over how cheap the berries are when you pick them. The girls favorite part is getting to eat as we pick. I love these special family memories.

Kaleidoscope | february

Last year I became friends with a very special group of ladies and participated together in a 10 on 10 project.  This year we wanted to continue to do a project together, but wanted to do something a little different.  Our new project is called Kaleidoscope.

Kaleidoscope  is derived from the Ancient Greek (kalos), “beautiful, beauty” (eidos), “that which is seen: form, shape” and (skopeo), “to look to, to examine.”  Hence “observation of beautiful forms.”

We are a group of friends, moms, visual artists and photographers from around the world who are passionate about capturing images of the real, the messy and the magical-the wonder of the everyday.  Like a kaleidoscope, our photographs are playful and experimental, ever-changing and infused with light and colour.  Once a month, we assemble a single mosaic comprised of our collective pictorial tiles, one submitted by each of us, that reflect the shared meaning and beauty in our lives.

I love seeing how each photographer sees her part of the world.  It is beautiful to see these images all together. Please be sure to head on over to our blog to see our Kaleidoscope for February.

This month my image came from a group of images from one afternoon on the lake with some of the cousins. The sun was shining, the skies were blue, and the water was inviting.

10 on 10 | the october edition

This month for my 10 on 10 I decided to pick 10 images from a project I recently took part in called the 5 minute project.  Essentially, you capture life around you in 5 minutes.  You can read more about this awesome project here.   I decided to capture 5 minutes at the soccer field, because we happen to spend a lot of time there.  My daughter and her cousin have the best time having their own practices while their big sisters are playing.  As I looked through my images, I loved seeing the little subtleties that go on in five minutes.   You can see more of the images I captured here.

Next up in our blog circle is Jackie Tyghem l Boca Raton Lifestyle Photographer who always captures her day to day in a most lovely way.

cherish this day | october

"Life is fleeting. It is to be enjoyed."-Tori Amos

One morning this week my 4 year old daughter woke up asking for her cousin to come play.   We had a car to get washed, groceries to buy, dinner to start, and schoolwork to be completed.  BUT I told her that we would try our best to have her over some time during the day.  While out grocery shopping we stopped in the dollar tree and stocked up on some fun craft supplies: glitter, foam crowns,  and sequins.   I was able to talk to my sister n law and arrange a play date while our older kids were at church later that afternoon and evening. It was perfect because I was able to give the little girls my full attention so we could make beautiful princess crowns.   We couldn't have asked a more glorious evening, so I set up all of our supplies on a picnic table in the yard. I gave the girls the glue, paint, glitter and sequins and let them have fun until their hearts were content.  Glitter was thrown, paint was spilled, and the mess was everywhere. It was wonderful.   Everyday beauty....it's a true gift indeed.

Now, head on over to the Cherish this Day Blog and see what other beautiful every day moments have been captured.

beautiful light and a lot of love

I have not been doing many family sessions over the past year, because I made the decision to put my own family first.  I love capturing families together, but I realized it took far too much time away from my children and they are still so young. I don't ever want to look back and regret the way I chose to use my time. I made an exception for this session of course, because it is my sister and her family. Since I have moved back home I have loved getting to watch her family grow.  I am so blessed that these little ones are a part of my daily life now.

four today

Today you are four.  I watch you daily in your magical world...in your world of dress up, dancing, and singing. I see you and I see joy.  You are a gift to us all.  I pray you will never lose your zest for life, your curiosity about the world around you, and your love for creating beautiful things.    We love you to the moon and back...today and always.

infectious joy

“Joy is the realest reality, the fullest life, and joy is always given, never grasped. God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given: joy.” ― Ann Voskamp

Last week one evening my niece was over playing with my youngest daughter.   As I watched them, I couldn't help but feel the joy.  Their squeals were loudly heard in the back yard and their smiles were radiating almost as bright as the evening sun. At 3 it seems pretty easy to be joyful.   Worry and disappointment comes in the form of not getting to buy another app on the I Pad or not getting one more cookie for dessert.  These sweet cousins were not even aware they had a limited 45 minutes to play together that night.  They just lived those 45 minutes to the fullest, without a thought elsewhere.

It makes me wonder, as we get older, when does this natural joyous state begin to change, and why does it have to?  As I've mentioned before I've been reading 1000 gifts by Ann Voskamp.  I have been challenged to open my heart to the gifts all around me. I have been challenged to see the seemingly insignificant as beautiful as God intended it to be. I desire to let go of the worrying about tomorrow and embrace each day and moment for what it is. As I look at these images today, I am reminded to live joyfully and to open my heart to the fullest life God has to offer.  I know that God is presenting this gift to me daily and I want to open my heart and grasp it always.   Sometimes, this is easy. But, admittedly, sometimes it has to be done with a conscious effort.  In either case, it is there waiting for all of us.

There really is so much beauty waiting to be appreciated in any direction I look.   And for these 45 minutes, it was indeed pure bliss.  It was giggles, swinging, sunlight, little hands and barefeet, lake breezes,  blonde curls, a sweet dimple.

I am thankful for this joy.

11 on 11 l september

Today I am taking part in a new project for me called 11 on 11. I have enjoyed getting to know this group of ladies the past couple of months and I am thrilled they invited me to join them in this fun project.   11 on 11 is pretty simple-11 images, posted on the 11th of the month. No specific rules, except one... I need to be in atleast 1 of the images.  I really didn't think I'd be able to start another project this year, let alone this month, but then at the very last minute, I decided to challenge myself . I could not narrow our jam packed morning into 11 frames.  Here is a day in the life of us (well, morning to lunchtime-and as you can see, we get a lot done in a short amount of time).  A morning playing on the lake before school, breakfast (mama finally said yes to pop tarts), school time turned painting time, outside shower and play time and lunch time devotions. And yes, if you look really really closely you will find me in the frame.  Many people often ask what our typical day looks like.  It does vary from day to day but one thing I see constant as I look at these images is the connection my children share. It is something special...I won't ever take for granted.

Today, September 11, as I look at these images, I am especially grateful. So many men and women have sacrificed so much for our country so that we can enjoy these freedoms daily.  Being a military family, we have seen first hand the sacrifices it takes to keep our country free.  I am grateful to God for the life He has blessed us with and thankful to live in a place I can really cherish these every day moments with our children.    Hope you enjoy a look into our little world.

Be sure to follow along our circle and see some amazingly talented and beautiful ladies. First up is Lina Jarmond l Raleigh, NC newborn photographer.

10 on 10 | the august edition

“Wherever you are, be all there." I have lived the runner, panting ahead in worry, pounding back in regrets, terrified to live in the present, because here-time asks me to do the hardest of all: just open wide and receive.-Ann Voskamp

I read these words this week and they struck a chord with me.  I could have written these words myself.  My natural tendency is to look behind and see what I could have done differently, or plan ahead to how I can make tomorrow perfect.  But what I want more than anything is to sit and enjoy today for each moment I am given. To wake up and realize every day is a gift and live like that.   To really live with the Faith I know deep inside that God has a plan for me and my life. PERIOD.  I don't have to be in control always, because He is.

I have started reading a book called 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp and my mind has been stirring a lot about this.  I thank my friend Ashley for our recent conversations which ultimately led me to start reading this book.  I love the way God uses people in ways you would never imagine.

 This month's 10 on 10 is a collaboration of 5 days spent solely at home in our backyard by the lake.  We had cousins in and out of our home all week enjoying the carefree days of summer and childhood.   I feel like each of these days I was able to be there fully content in the present. I didn't want to be anywhere but where I was.  It's a beautiful thing to feel this. To live this.  I want to wake anew each day and see the gifts all around me...big and small.  They are infinitely there and I am grateful.

Next in our 10 on 10 group is Jackie Tyghem.  You don't want to miss seeing her beautiful lifestyle work.

kids were here l august 2013

Once again we've had another month of summer fun.  I was thinking about this project a lot this week as I was looking throughout my home. Yes, indeed there are messes daily in my home that tell the stories of  our children, of us together, and of life being lived.  But there are also just "traces" of their presence every where I look.  I realize this as I see towels and bathing suits drying, baby dolls tucked in their bed, rafts and sand toys on the beach, and so much more on any given day.  The life of my children is all around. It really is sad for me to imagine our life any different, though the reality is, it will be one day.  I continue to pray to live every day to its fullest, to live in the present, and thank God for these fleeting moments.   Please make sure to head over to the Kids Were Here Blog to see all the fabulous images.   I love this group of ladies and the love they have for their families.

the beauty of grace

My oldest daughter is now 9. We share the most wonderful talks these days.  I love to hear the thoughts that are filled inside of her head.  One thing I have clearly noticed over the past few years is the struggle she has with perfectionism.  I can identify it well, as I have lived my own life with this--as long as I can remember.   As a mother,  I  see how it can pull at us and paralyze us from being the person God has planned for us to be.

My sweet 9 year old will come to me  filled with grief for something she "thought" or something she has done.  She struggles as we do her math together; wanting to get it perfect the 1st time and getting upset when she is unsuccessful.  She notices the behaviors of those she is around. When they aren't being kind or respectful, she doesn't quite understand why.   She loves everyone and opens her heart the only way she knows how.   We have talked a lot about others and that kindness will not always be offered to us in return. I struggle with this a lot myself and it's hard to be honest and explain to her that the world is filled with people who will not love us for one reason or another.  Or sometimes, for no reason at all.  I believe perfectionism comes hand in hand with people pleasing.    And one of the hardest things to accept is that not everyone will like us; much less love us.

This week I was in the car with my three children when my daughter downloaded the song "Hello, my name is" by Mathew West.  I sat in the car  listening to this song and really thought about the lyrics.  And then we sang it over and over again...all 4 of us.

The song says:

Hello, my name is regret I'm pretty sure we have met Every single day of your life I'm the whisper inside That won't let you forget

Hello, my name is defeat I know you recognize me Just when you think you can win I'll drag you right back down again ‘Til you've lost all belief

These are the voices, these are the lies And I have believed them, for the very last time

Hello, my name is child of the one true King I've been saved, I've been changed, And I have been set free “Amazing Grace” is the song I sing Hello, my name is child of the one true King

I am no longer defined By all the wreckage behind The one who makes all things new Has proven it's true Just take a look at my life

What love the Father has lavished upon us That we should be called His children I am a child of the one true King

My children wanted me to explain the meaning of this song to them as they usually do when they hear a new song.  In my opinion,  this song could have so many different meanings.  But yesterday as we sang it, what I wanted to tell all of my children was that our Heavenly Father has "lavished His love upon us"  and "amazing grace is the song we should sing".

I want my children to have grace with themselves and grace with anyone they come in contact with.   I want them to know I do not expect them to be perfect and neither does God.  I want them to live their lives and open their hearts to others with the type of grace Jesus has given us.  This world is full of people "pointing their fingers" at others, shaming them, and judging them.  But, who are we to judge anyone? I pray that our children will grow up loving others and seeing the best in humanity.  I want my children to see others through God's eyes.

"When we face a difficult situation or are dealing with difficult people in our lives, it becomes very easy to see them through our eyes.  We see the hurt they cause us.  We see the wrong they've done to us. We see their actions through the lens of our own personal experience.

When we face a difficult situation or are dealing with difficult people in our lives and we seek to them through God’s eyes, we are able to see them as a hurting or lost person.  We see their woundedness or their confusion. We can sometimes see where they are being deceived. If we seek wholeheartedly, we can even see their possibilities instead of their liabilities.

Seeing the world and others through God’s perspective takes the focus off of us.  This keeps us from taking things personally. And when we don’t take things personally, we can be more objective, we can better stand in the gap in prayer for the other person, and we can see things as they are instead of seeing them as we are."- Jill Savage

We try hard to remind our children of all of this.  And as a mother and adult, I need this reminder myself.  I want to remember to not only see others through God's eyes but to see myself that way too.  I am growing and learning more and more, day by day. I will fall and with God's help I will get back up.  There is not a "standard" to which I need to be as a mother, wife, daughter, friend, or person.  I just need to live for God daily and ask Him to guide me to continue to be the person He wants me to be.

I know I can't keep my children from facing their own struggles; whether they come from within or through others they come in contact with. But,  I can pray for them and try to remind them that we have been given God's Amazing Grace and it is such a beautiful thing.