Today our sweet Mimi turns 65. What a wonderful milestone and reason to celebrate the life of someone so special to all of us. Mom, you have been such a rock for our family for so many years. You are always there for each of us and have showed us so much about love and servant hood. Thank you for giving so much of your life to your family. We all love you so much.
I feel you growing in different ways. You are right there between childhood and the world of teenager. We are both navigating these waters together for the first time and it isn't always easy. I know I fail you many days. I know there will be times you feel like I don't understand you, but please never forget how much I love you. Today, I found you in your room crying. You asked me if I was mad at you for something that had happened earlier in the day and I said no. There are times that I will be disappointed by your actions or words, but life is far too precious to hold on to these negative feelings. I have learned what loving unconditionally really means since becoming a mama. God has shown me grace over and over again through you and your brother and sister. As I've told you before, there were so many times I wasn't the daughter I should have been to Mimi and Popi. There were times I took them for granted and times I was disrespectful. I still mess up. My prayer is for you to really know the gift of grace, the gift of forgiveness, and the gift of love. Some days will feel like valleys in this road of life. Use these times to grow and seek God first. Let Him be your rock always. I love you forever.
After hours and hours of rain, the sky cleared and the sun came out. We headed down to the lake as soon as we saw the sun shining. I love how peaceful I always feel by the lake. You must feel it in ways too. You sit and dig and explore and seem to always find a world of your own by the lake.
You came down the stairs and told me that you were Mermaid Sand and Rapunzel. I love your imaginations at this age. The freedom you both live so vibrantly through is beautiful to watch. It is such a gift to have your cousins as your best friends.
You have been writing and illustrating books the past two weeks. You love to read me your stories in progress and I love to hear them. You have grown so much this year in your reading and writing abilities. I love that I get to be a part of your learning experience daily. I love you Bubby.
It seems natural to reflect on motherhood today. A decade of motherhood seems to have taught me more than the almost three decades before motherhood. There is a new found grace I have for myself, for my own mother and for all mothers, that seems to grow with each passing day.
Ann Voskamp shared these words on her blog this week. They resonated so deeply with me.
“And maybe that’s what it really was — maybe the days were pretty and ugly. Pretty…Ugly. The ugly beautiful of reality and love and humanity and what it means to become real. That was what was happening: the stacks of dishes and everests of laundry and the tantrums of toddlers and teenagers and tired mamas and all the scuffed up walls down the hall and through the heart, they were all wearing down the plastic of pride, wearing us down to the real wood of grace and the Cross. It really is okay.
To lose it and be found, to be rubbed the wrong way to become the rightest way, to let all the hard times rub you down to real.
That’s just the pretty ugly of us — we’re not the Hallmark mother, just the Velveteen Mothers. The Velveteen Mothers who know when there’s a volley of words and weary silences afterward and everything looks impossibly wrecked —
The angular, hard edges of perfection are being sanded down by all our scrapes and falls, till we’re round and soft and can get close enough to each other to just hold each other. Only when you’re broken are you tender enough to wrap yourself around anyone.
Only the broken people can really embrace. That’s us — could we just really hold onto each other?”
Today, may we each hold onto one another! Some are missing their own mothers. Some are waiting and praying to become mothers. Some are single mothers, doing it all on their own. Each of us are broken and we all need that embrace. Motherhood is not about perfection. God never called us to be perfect. He only calls us to love.
I am so grateful that God called me to be your mother. I am thankful for the person He continues to mold me into through serving and love you.
It was our first soccer season with all three of you playing and it was also my first season coaching. It was such a fun few months. I had not planned on coaching, but when Daddy got orders to go to Afghanistan, I stepped in. It was such a great learning experience in many ways. There were Saturdays that I felt very overwhelmed with our busy game schedule, but God worked through me during these three months. I am grateful as He shapes me and molds me and as He shows me to seek Him first. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. Philippians 4:13.
This is your third year taking swim lessons with Mrs. Joyce and you are doing so well. Today was day two of lessons and you didn't want to get out of the pool. You are becoming quite the little mermaid.
You were all going stir crazy from the rain that has continued for days. It let up for a little bit, so we headed to the lake and played. And then... it returned.
A couple nights ago in bed you said, Mama we didn't paint today. I realized that with being outside so much recently, and dealing with some house issues, it had been a while. You were missing it. Today, I gave you the water color tubes and let you mix colors. Then you created this painting. You have always told us what you are creating, but today was the first day we could really see it too. Flowers and grass. I love watching your passion for painting continue to grow.
