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The worries of life could be infinite; our health, our finances, our family, our relationships, our future. Through the years God has definitely shown me time and time again that He is in control, that I need to let go of worry and fear and trust solely in Him and His plan.
At 39 and pregnant with number four, there is a lot on my heart and mind. During our 3rd pregnancy I got really sick and our daughter was born almost 8 weeks premature. Those frightening hours have been making their way to the forefront of my mind; yet, I keep finding His peace amidst all the fears that want to take over. Life may not always go the way we envision. It will have its detours, but if we keep our eyes on Him, He will always point us to where we need to be.
I can’t stop thinking about the lyrics to the song called Captain by Hillsong United. Typically, I only share a portion of a song that is speaking to me, but today, there wasn’t a part I felt I could NOT share. I hope these words will speak to your heart as well. No matter what uncharted waters you are going through, always know, you are not alone.
Through waters uncharted my soul will embark
I'll follow Your voice straight into the dark
And if from the course You intend
Speak to the sails of my wandering heart
Like the wind
Clear the skies before me
And I'll glide this open sea
Like the stars
Will align my voyage
And remind me where I've been
And where I am going
Lost in the shallows amidst fear and fog
Your truth is the compass that points me back north
My soul's trusted Lord
All my allegiance is rightfully Yours
I hope this is how they remember their childhood; simple, yet so full.
If I were asked to describe their relationship I would say loud, rambunctious, wild, fun, joyous.....and overflowing with love. I love seeing their relationship and all that it is now at 5 and 8 years old. What a gift they are to each other.
It is hard to believe her elementary years have come to a close. As I look back on these years, I am so grateful for all of the time we have spent together. Four years ago, we decided to homeschool; making the decision to take it a year at a time. I was scared to head out on this new journey alone, but I clearly see that I have never been alone. God has provided every single step of the way.
There are definitely days when I question myself. Days that are challenging and exhausting. Yet, I truly believe that some of the most rewarding things in life take hard work, perseverance, and complete surrender to God.
As parents we all must make choices for our children and no choice will ever be completely perfect. There are things we sacrifice no matter what direction we chose. Each family and each child is so unique. For us, this lifestyle decision has been such a blessing.
There are new adventures ahead as we will have a 6th grader, 3rd grader, and Kindergartner in the Fall. I feel blessed to have these days with our children, watching their hearts as well as their academics grow. We will continue to take one year at time, seeking His plan for us always. Today, I rejoice in another year of schooling together and look forward to the summer months ahead.
It's been such a fun summer watching the three of you swim non-stop at Mimi's pool.
This has been the summer of kayaking. You guys love kayak on the lake with your friends and cousins and explore. Baby sissy is patiently waiting her turn to be old enough to kayak by herself. And a portrait of the three of you is wonderful to capture. Real expressions and all.
Abundant joy, laughter, smiles. I want to look back on my days with you and remember these moments fully. Often, as I lay next to you at bedtime, I let my shortcomings fog my memory of the day. Perhaps, I lost my patience, raised my voice, and didn't listen intently. I could go on, but I won’t. You see, I am so good at giving grace to the three of you. I love you with a total unconditional love, yet I forget to love my self this way.
This weekend I read these words from Judah Smith: “Grace points us toward Jesus. It keeps us humble, and it also gives us hope that we can live a good life after all. When we mess up, we don’t get emotionally derailed. We get up and try again because we know Jesus is on our side. He’s not mad at us or even disappointed in us. He’s excited that we are trying and he is there to help us learn and grow.”
I am guessing I am not the only one that has ever “emotionally derailed” when thinking back on the day’s events. As I remind myself, I want to remind others as well; every day is a new day to keep trying. He is using every mistake, trial, and bad day, to allow us to grow closer to Him, if we just let Him. I want to do more than just get up and try again. I want to remember the Joy that only He gives us. That Joy is not circumstantial and is always there to give us strength. And His Mercy is greater than any shortcoming.
Today was the last day of soccer camp. I love seeing you all playing this year. It is going to be a fun fall.
Soccer season started this week with a camp. It was so fun to see you two take the field together for the first time this year. You both have watched your sisters from the sidelines since you were born. Now, at almost 4 and 5, it is your turn to play together. (And those shin guards are hard to get of)
This was the day we made a homemade slip n slide. We were all so excited to see how it worked. Sadly, it was a big flop. But you guys had fun in the sprinkler anyway.
It doesn't matter how much we try to sit and linger, to enjoy each day together.....summer still flies by. Trying to soak in every last bit of it.
I LOVE being together as a family, but I think individual time is important to have with each child. This week we have enjoyed swimming at night--just the two of us. It's been such fun and we've had the opportunity for some wonderful conversations. It has been so special to have this time together and hear what is on your heart. There’s really something magical about these summer nights at the pool.
The local schools started back today. You were all a little sad knowing some of your friends would be off at school all day. 3:00 came and you were ready to play. It felt like 100 degrees, so you created your own backyard water park.