The glorious mundane.

"How do you do it all? 
You invite the glorious into the mundane "

I am admittedly pretty late to the podcast craze. Better late, than never. Right? 

Yesterday, I began listening to the Podcast of @christynockels : The Glorious in the Mundane. 

If you've followed me for anytime you know my heart is passionate about finding the beauty in the everyday. It isn't just something I do to stay inspired to create art. No, it is a lifeline for me. A way of living and thriving in this season of life called motherhood. 

You see, finding beauty in the everyday, finding the glorious in the mundane, is about so much more than a beautiful picture or a positive outlook. It's about inviting God into all parts of my life. It's about seeing Him and His grace and love and LIGHT in the ordinary moments; especially in the ordinary moments. Talking to Him and seeking Him at the kitchen sink, in the car, and in all the daily messes of life. 

In some ways, I've felt stuck in the valley the past few months as our baby has emerged into a toddler. As she finds her voice and independence. Through tantrums and fits. Through multiple ear infections and teeth emerging on a constant basis. Through sleepless nights. 

No, none of these things are life threatening. And yes, we have so very much to be grateful for. But it's enough to feel weary and worn. To lose patience and grace. To feel frustrated and need to cry out. 

This quote that Christy shared in her intro podcast was such a timely reminder in the midst of an ordinary day. A day filled with struggles and beauty alike. A great reminder to keep seeking and inviting Him in to every moment. And with that invitation, my eyes and heart transform and suddenly everything takes on new light. 

I see you and I love you.

Whenever we go to the pool you ask to swim through my legs. You call out for me to watch you do your underwater flip. You yell mama watch me as you jump from the edge.

Many times my eyes are on baby sister and I can't give you my full attention and then many times I've given you an ungraceful and selfish answer. Today, I want to say I am sorry. 
There have been moments that it feels like you've asked me to watch the same thing a million times. Moments, when I just wanted to sit by the pool side in quiet, lost in my own thoughts. It's quite embarrassing to say this out loud. To admit my own selfish desires and shortcomings. But I have to be honest. I always want to be honest with you children. I am far from perfect. 
The other day I read an article and it reminded me that you won't always be asking for my approval. For my attention. For my praise. It reminded me that there will come a day you won't need me anymore. Not in the same ways you do now. That I won't be such a huge part of your world. I know it. Things will change. No matter what I do or don't do, this is part of the growing process. The words from the article keep going through my mind. They challenge me daily to live fully in these moments because I know one day, it will all be so different. I will long for questions and noise and to be needed. I will long to be right here. 

Today, I want to remind you how much I love you. How much I love being your mama. There will be days that I feel depleted and will need your grace and unyielding love; yet, my prayer is that most days I make it known that I hear you and see you and love you . That I'm so proud of you. And I hope you always know what a gift motherhood truly is for me. 

thirteen

As I think back on the day you were born, it feels as real as yesterday. No one could have ever prepared me for motherhood. For the love that would engulf my life in such a powerful way. 
For the past few years, I've watched you change little by little. Truthfully, I was nervous as I began to feel the shift and as you began to travel through foreign waters. 

Today, I feel a peace as I see the beautiful young lady you are becoming. You are filled with grace, love and wisdom beyond your years. Your faith in Jesus continues to grow and I've seen you lean on Him for strength and understanding. I'm so thankful for you and the lessons you continue to teach me. My prayer, is to be fully present in these days with you; to guide you and love you right where you are. I realize more than ever how precious our days, talks and moments together truly are. 

In those early years, it felt like we had forever together. Today, as we celebrate 13 years of you, forever doesn't seem like enough.