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I see you and I love you.

Whenever we go to the pool you ask to swim through my legs. You call out for me to watch you do your underwater flip. You yell mama watch me as you jump from the edge.

Many times my eyes are on baby sister and I can't give you my full attention and then many times I've given you an ungraceful and selfish answer. Today, I want to say I am sorry. 
There have been moments that it feels like you've asked me to watch the same thing a million times. Moments, when I just wanted to sit by the pool side in quiet, lost in my own thoughts. It's quite embarrassing to say this out loud. To admit my own selfish desires and shortcomings. But I have to be honest. I always want to be honest with you children. I am far from perfect. 
The other day I read an article and it reminded me that you won't always be asking for my approval. For my attention. For my praise. It reminded me that there will come a day you won't need me anymore. Not in the same ways you do now. That I won't be such a huge part of your world. I know it. Things will change. No matter what I do or don't do, this is part of the growing process. The words from the article keep going through my mind. They challenge me daily to live fully in these moments because I know one day, it will all be so different. I will long for questions and noise and to be needed. I will long to be right here. 

Today, I want to remind you how much I love you. How much I love being your mama. There will be days that I feel depleted and will need your grace and unyielding love; yet, my prayer is that most days I make it known that I hear you and see you and love you . That I'm so proud of you. And I hope you always know what a gift motherhood truly is for me. 




A good friend will see things in us that we can't see about ourselves - Bob Goff

We all need a friend like this. Someone to affirm us, when we can't see our true gifts and talents. To tell us that we CAN do it, when fear has overcome us. We need a friend to remind us gently of grace. Grace for ourselves. Grace for others. When it feels like we just aren't getting anything right.

We need people who are our true fans. Who cheer us on without any jealousy or envy. 
Likewise, we need someone to look us straight in the eye and tell us when we need correction. When we are losing our way. We need people that can be honest and tell it like it is.

We need someone to pray for us. To hear us without judgement. To love us without conditions. 
And we need to be this friend to others. In a world that is so "connected" through social media and technology, it is hard to find friends that are truly connected through the heart. But, the effort and time it takes to truly connect with people wins every single time.