Viewing entries tagged
baby
This little ray of sunshine is 13 months today. I couldn't help but think back to a year ago today. You were still so tiny... trying to gain weight. Reflux. Gas pains. I felt overwhelmed and at a loss for how to soothe you. I worried it would last forever. Goodness the newborn days are so bittersweet. Hard and tiring yet so beautiful too. Thankful for God's provision and grace giving me the strength I needed.
And here we are today. You are the most smiley, waving, happy baby I could dream of. You are now taking steps. Eating non stop and still nursing pretty much non stop too. And yes... you love, love, love your baths.
I think we all need a bit more babylike wonder in our world. If you are curious, you explore. If you want something, you find a way to get it. There's no fear. No second guessing. Just going for it.
Today, you decided to climb in the dishwasher. And then decided to throw dishes out. Never a thought crossed your mind. What if that glass breaks? Or what if I fall backwards?
Baby wonder, it's something special. And so is a sleeping baby.
Today, you had your birthday cake. One day late. Just us at home on the back porch. You loved your cake so much. I think chocolate must be your favorite. After having your cake, we spent some time by the lake. Love these simple moments, watching you explore.
When big sissy paints Christmas trees but doesn't put up the green paint.
It was inevitable. I strive to keep art supplies out. They are to be used daily not for just special occasions. And yes, this often means messes in our home, but the creativity that comes from exploring is priceless. And so it seems YOUR exploring has begun
You haven't wanted to play in this much lately. You are crawling all over the house and trying to balance by yourself now standing. You walk around holding onto furniture and I am certain it won't be long before you take off on your own. BUT....today, you crawled over and you wanted to get in. I am so grateful for you and the light you bring all of us.
"I was faced with a dilemma - one so many of us face quite often; I could either wrestle my life and my kids and my house and our Christmas into something fantastic; something perfect... Or I could plant myself down right in the middle of the mess and realize that the mess is actually my life, the only one I'll ever get, the one I'm in danger of missing completely, waiting around for fantastic. That Christmas I chose to be present over perfect, and that's still what I choose today"-Shauna Niequist
I was watching the sun stream through the windows this weekend while she was taking a bath. I remember last year this time. Looking out this space; which at the time was a torn apart kitchen under construction. It was the start of the holiday season. It was also the start of me going on bed rest. The start of what would eventually become pre eclampsia and another premature birth.
Those days were difficult; yet a year later I look back with such gratitude. I felt like my whole world was a mess. We couldn't cook or do laundry in our home for months. I was going to weekly doctor appointments and in and out of the hospital for observation; all of you were with us for almost every appointment. I felt like I was letting our family down. I couldn't go out and do Christmas activities. I couldn't decorate or bake or do the things I loved to do with you.
Through it all, love poured from so many. Our church provided meals for us. Mita took our laundry and lovingly cleaned our clothes. I'll never forget the day that Mimi showed up and decorated our home. Hallmark Christmas movies played a lot and we spent time as a family snuggled in bed, doing all I could to stay healthy.
We were together.
It was a time that is normally busy but became unusually slow. It was a beautiful reminder in being present and together. I pray that I can take that slow and infuse it into our Christmas each year. I don't want to try and orchestrate a pretty picture of some perfection that doesn't exist. I want to cherish these days and hold onto what this season is truly about and I don't want to miss the light that He has so graciously brought into my life.
You needed to be nursed before we left for the soccer field. And then you fell asleep with ten minutes until we needed to leave. Big sissy also needed help with her hair. I was about to help her when I noticed this scene. The two of you. Our oldest and youngest. Often times I can feel overwhelmed with getting to where we need to be. Making sure I have everything for everyone. But in this moment I just paused. There's so much beauty in these days. I don't ever want to be too busy or too consumed to notice. To be grateful.
We moved your crib yesterday. You aren't technically in your own room yet, but you aren't next to mama's bed anymore. It's hard to accept how fast the days go by. How quickly this year has flown, but I am beyond grateful for each moment with you. You are such a gift from God and I am still in awe that you are here.
You have learned to wave and say hi and bye. We are all so smitten with you my love. So thankful to have you in our world.
We just got home from her four month check up. You may remember all the prayers we needed for our preemie. Prayers for mama when I got so sick with pre-eclampsia. Prayers for her when she was slow to gain weight. Here she is today. Look at this sweet miracle and her growth. 12 pounds 12 ounces and even on the growth charts now.
We kept playing Lauren Daigle's song Trust in You on repeat driving home. Gosh, it's so hard sometimes to be in those valleys and put it all down atGod's feet. To trust His plan and to wait on Him. But, goodness what we learn when we do is so worth it all. Praising Him today. All the glory is His.
And if you haven't heard this song go check it out. Here are the lyrics:
Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see
I've tried to win this war I confess
My hands are weary I need Your rest
Mighty Warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face, You're by my side
When You don't move the mountains I'm needing You to move
When You don't part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don't give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!
Truth is, You know what tomorrow brings
There's not a day ahead You have not seen
So, in all things be my life and breath
I want what You want Lord and nothing less
When You don't move the mountains I'm needing You to move
When You don't part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don't give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!
You are my strength and comfort
You are my steady hand
You are my firm foundation; the rock on which I stand
Your ways are always higher
Your plans are always good
There's not a place where I'll go, You've not already stood
When You don't move the mountains I'm needing You to move
When You don't part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don't give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!
I will trust in You!
There are all kinds of excuses to NOT get in the pictures with our kids, but I am trying to focus on all the WAYS I can.
The kids and I were sitting on the bed in awe of her precious giggles. Our 6 year old was filming it all with the iPhone and I quickly handed my camera to our 9 year old son. This has become my way of getting "in the frame". I've taught him and our oldest daughter a bit about focus and composition. I set the camera settings (since I always shoot in manual) and I give the camera to them.
Kids LOVE to be involved and they love to learn. They love seeing they can create art too. They have even started to come up with their own ideas on composition. It's been so fun to watch them grow more able and confident behind the camera.
I am grateful, as always, to the group of ladies behind this project. They are always inspiring me and encouraging me to keep documenting that "I was there too."
This sweet babe is four months old today.
It was a little over a year ago we thought our trying to conceive journey was over. We prayed and left it at His feet. We were at peace knowing we had been blessed with the family God had given us. I mourned but I trusted in His plan. The next month we would find out we were expecting. Not with fertility treatments, timing, or medicines. All by the grace of God. His plan, His timing, Always perfect.
Everyday I spend with her I am more aware of how perfect His timing is. She came to us all not a day too soon and not a day too late.
love these baby days so much.
Yes, my love, you will be with them soon enough. Let's enjoy every minute of you right here by mama.
Something special is starting between them. I continue to learn so much mothering our four children. Being from a big family myself, I had no idea all my mom did to make us all feel loved. And sometimes no matter her efforts, I selfishly wanted more. Oh, the grace I know now. Had I only known it then. So many nights, I sit in silence feeling like I wasn't enough to them. Feeling like I've somehow not given one of them enough of me. God reminds me that He will fill any gap I can't . I wasn't made to do this on my own. I was made to love and that is all they need. He will give them the rest.
On Friday our baby girl turns 6. I came across these words I wrote last year at this same time:
“Every year as her birthday nears, I think back on those early days when she arrived almost 8 weeks early. Those days were filled with moments of darkness for me. With questions of uncertainty. With fear. With my own extreme sickness. Often times, I still get very emotional when I think of this time. There was a hope and light ever present amidst all of the darkness. God gave us every thing we needed. Now, every time I see this preemie of ours I am reminded fully of the light I needed in those dark hours. I am reminded that our plans may not be His, but how His are so much greater. Sometimes it takes days, months, even years to see it, but it is always true.”
Now, pregnant with our 4th child, my mind often fills with fears of what may come in the months ahead. I often worry that I will get sick again with pre-eclampsia or something different. There are days that the anxiety seems to take over; even when I know God is in control. And then, I look at our preemie and I remember we have never been forsaken.
God wants us to call on Him and seek Him. He wants us to find our rest in Him. None of us know what tomorrow holds and we cannot let worry steal today’s joys.
We celebrate our preemie’s six years of life and the strong willed, spirited, curious, loving girl she has become. She has brought us such joy during these years. I would not be who I am today without each and every experience God has brought me through. I am grateful for His provision and never ending grace.
Happy 6th birthday to our sweet girl.
“ His grace covers me. This is all I know. All I need”
-unknown