what a week at the gulf looks like

Every year we spend a week at the Gulf with my parents, my siblings, and all of the cousins. The children and adults alike countdown to this memorable week. I love the memories that are made sharing space and unrushed time together for seven days.  There really is something special when you spend days and nights living among one another and having time to just linger. With almost ten grandchildren this year, it was also filled with a bit of chaos, but in a good way. Today, I share with you What a Week at the Gulf Looks Like .  I don't think I could ever accurately share our week together, so I have picked some of my favorites. There really is something magical about the Gulf.

Head on over to see what talented Ashley Jennet | The Stork and the Beanstalk has shared this month.

all my hope

 

Over the last year, I have been documenting the life of my father n law with Alzheimer's Disease in a project called Life with Pito.

On Friday, Pito underwent surgery. He had gangrene on his big toe that progressed to a deep bone infection. The doctors tried intravenous antibiotics for several weeks, while cleaning the wound on multiple occasions. They decided that they would amputate the toe in order to prevent the infection from spreading further to his foot and leg. Initially, the doctors thought they'd have to take several toes, but they were able to get all of the infection by only amputating one. Pito's age of almost 81 and Alzheimer's were both added concerns as he underwent surgery on Friday. We are all grateful that the surgery went so well. Pito is now home and healing with Mita (his wife) by his side.

Trials in life, such as these, are never easy to walk through. I cannot even begin to really understand the daily journey my mother n law travels with Pito. Her example of love and never ending grace and devotion will stay with me forever. Her faith in Jesus and His plan and His provision continues to guide me on my own walk with Christ. Friday, at the hospital, I was reminded again of what an incredible wife and mother she is. I was filled with so much emotion as I watched her nurse and love him with such care and detail.

I don't know if I could continue to be as strong as she is. I know her heart aches as she has watches Pito's health decline and his memory fade, yet, she continues to find ways to praise God for the blessings of each day. She continues to care for him at home and gives him the utmost attention and love. It really is extraordinary.

I am grateful that our children could come with us to the hospital to show love and support to their grandparents.  In addition, I am thankful that they could witness the beautiful example of family commitment. Family and friends (that are like family) stopped by all day to pray, to encourage, and to show their love and support. We spent hours reminiscing on special memories. What a gift it was for our children to hear these stories and to see this display of love.

Family is a gift that I never want our children to take for granted. These people we love, and who also love us, are an integral part of our lives. Friday, was such a reminder of this for me.  I am grateful our children could see the example of servant hood and love in such a real way.

Many emotions were felt and realized throughout the day. There was sadness and worry of what the future would hold; but ultimately, there was joy in knowing God was with each of us and with Pito. His faithfulness was demonstrated in many ways.

Often we talk to our children about putting their faith in Christ, but for them to see this example lived before them, is something that is far greater than our words. After Pito's surgery, we met him back in his hospital room. A smile immediately came upon his face as the children walked to his bedside. He reached out for their hands and kissed them with such tenderness. Later that afternoon, I was talking to Mita about how special this was. She looked at me and reminded me of the prayers we had said earlier in the day and that so many people had also said. And then she told me to be sure that I went home and thanked Jesus for the blessings of this day. She gave Him all the glory, confidently trusting in His plan.

Alzheimer's may steal so much from our family, but there are still these brief smiles, connections and moments of love. These are the memories I want to hold on to. These are the moments that I believe keep Mita strong. I pray that these will be the memories that our children remember from their Life with Pito.

Pito's life with Alzheimer's has shown me that even when I don't understand why, I can always trust that Jesus is with us. 

Light in my darkness. Peace for my soul. You are my rescue. You've never let go. All my hope is in You. All my strength is in You. With every breath, my soul will rest in You. Here in my weakness. Always the same. Your love is my shelter. Your life is my way. -"All My Hope" Hillsong United

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect through weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9

let your light shine

Technically, summer is not over.  And in all reality, summer never really ends completely in Florida. Right?!  It seems like just yesterday we were closing our books for  a few months to enjoy summer break. Yet, here we are starting a new school year. How does it always happen so fast? I savor and linger and the days still fly by with lightening speed. This year our children will be in 5th grade, 2nd grade, and pre-K. It is our fourth year homeschooling. I've learned so much from the past three years and made some changes for the year ahead. I feel like there is an ongoing learning process of trial and error as we teach our children.

One thing I seem to forget each year as I am planning our first day back to homeschooling, is that the kids aren't really thrilled to be back to the school routine. And honestly, I can't blame them. We've all had so much fun staying up late,  sleeping in,  swimming, playing, visiting, and doing fun non-routine activities. I think it is really hard for our children (and me) to say goodbye to the carefree days of summer break. After a few days back to homeschooling, we all realize that it is good for us to add some discipline back in our schedule; and there is still plenty of time for playing. This way of life allows much flexibility to our days (like starting at 9:00 or later) and there can be some positive aspects to routine.

Our morning started with a big breakfast, followed by devotional time, and cleaning up the kitchen. When finished, we headed into the school room. This year on our first day we started with a fun activity. Each child answered some questions about themselves and then they shared with each other. We have one child who wants to be a soccer player, another who dreams of map making, and a third who would love to be an animal doctor.  They each shared one thing they were good at and one thing they needed to work on. I loved when our 4 year old said she was good at painting, but needed to work on "attitudes." I love her sweet spirit. Our school day ended with tie dye, which we have done annually since our first year homeschooling. The kids look forward to this every year. We finished just in time to head out the door to soccer practice. All three children are playing soccer this Fall, so we spend a lot of time at the fields.

To be completely real, our first day wasn't as smooth or joyful as I would have hoped. As I mentioned before, everyone wasn't excited to be saying goodbye to summer, and there was some complaining and irritability. There were times during the day that I felt a bit defeated. Before school that morning, I wrote let your light shine on our chalk board. These four words were ones that I wanted to define our new school year. As the day progressed, I didn't see the light; instead, I felt frustrated and impatient.

I have had time to reflect this week. I realized that every year, the first day "back to homeschooling" has been challenging.  Day two is always much easier and we begin to have a much better rhythm and flow. Once again, I was reminded of my need for grace for myself and our children. I need to let go of expectations that I sometimes create for all of us. I need to remember that transition can be hard for adults and kids alike.

As I look back on the day through the images I captured, I see the day with fresh eyes. I see the relationships between our children, I can hear the conversations we shared during the day, and remember memories we made.  I see the light. I see the light of Jesus throughout our home. Sometimes, His light is so subtle, yet it is so beautiful when we really take the time to see it. My prayer for our children is that they will not only let His light shine through them, but that they will take time to see His light every day.

A thousand times I've failed. Still your mercy remains. And should I stumble again. Still I'm caught in your grace Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades. Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame. -"Inside Out" Hillsong United

what time in the mountains looks like

I am excited to be joining an amazing group of photographers and friends in a beautiful  project called What         Looks Like. In mid-July, we headed to Georgia to spend some time in the mountains. It was just the five of us, plus our almost 15 year old lab, Buster. It is hard for me to put into words how much this trip meant to me. We had long meals on the porch, hikes in the woods and hours exploring on the river.We laughed and loved and just lived in ways that we all needed. I didn't realize how much we needed time for just us.

Today, I share with you What Time in the Mountains Looks Like. These memories will be in my heart forever.

Head on over to see what Jules Trandem's month looks like. She always amazes me with the beauty she captures in her everyday world.

kindred spirts

When I began studying photography, Stacey was one of the first photographers I started to follow. Her work always had something special about it that I admired. Over the years we began talking online through email and social media. Last week, we finally met in person when she brought her three awesome kids over to hang out with us for the day. It is such a blessing to see how God really had a hand in our friendship. It is amazing to realize all we have in common, the more we get to know one another. We are such kindred spirits.  Stacey was one of those people I felt like I've known forever immediately. We talked and laughed for hours with such ease.

I feel so grateful that we got to spend this time together and look forward to another play-date soon.

You can see some of Stacey's favorite images from our day together here. I love the words she shares and couldn't agree more. I have found that this phase of life is often very busy as a mama, but having true friendships is such a God given gift. Life was not made to travel alone. I loved that in this one day we were able to share our current joys and difficulties with one another and see how God was working in both of our lives through it all. I was reminded to take time for days like this. We all need to sit on the porch more and open our hearts. It really is good for the soul.

creating art with our lives

She is four and creates art with a passion that overflows from her soul. She lives her life with this same passion. She sings and dances and performs. I am learning so much about life through watching our youngest daughter. She creates art with her life. She doesn't let self doubt or fear stop her. She simply lives. We are all created by God to be artists. Our art is as unique as our lives. Creating art is more than mastering the technical aspects of a trade or craft. Art is something much more than technique. It is what unfolds when we live our lives with passion. It is something that is felt and seen but not measured.

I have been reading A Million Little Ways by Emily P. Freeman over the last year. Reading and re-reading. Yes, this book has spoken to me in many ways.  I've realized that art isn't merely what we create with our talents and passions but how we live our life. "Art is what happens when you dare to be who you really are. You have the power to influence, to move, to make, to become. You have the capacity to perform the human act of making art, of doing work that comes from deep within you and touches something deep within me." Emily continues, "We make art with our lives. When a mother who thought she had no voice begins to realize her voice matters, a student who believed he was biding his time to live life for real begins to discover life in today, and a writer begins to tell her story, a servant opens his hands, and a believer finally believes--art comes out."

As my daughter paints, life abounds from her. She doesn't know it yet, but she is in tune with what makes her alive. I remember when I had our first child, I felt alive in ways that I had never experienced. Mothering and now teaching our children, are ways I create art. I feel alive and I want to glorify God through these passions. You know without doubt when you see someone alive in what they are doing. It could be your child's teacher at school. Or a friend who shows hospitality to everyone who enters her home. A wife who loves her husband the best she can, showing grace and mercy through years spent together. Art is not just what someone creates with a brush or an instrument. It is a way of living your life.  Our Maker created us all to live this way, but somewhere along the way we start to forget what makes us feel alive. We can get into our daily routine; sometimes accepting mediocrity, and never take the time to embrace life in the way God intended for us.

For many, you know your passion. You know what you would love to do IF you had time and IF you were good enough. Something is stopping you from showing up. There will always be something trying to stop us from showing up.

Fear of failure and rejection stands in the forefront. This can be especially true for those perfectionists (such as myself) that want to do it right or not at all.

As my daughter creates art she has NO fear of rejection or failure. I have purposely let her create without limitations, so that she can explore and do what makes her feel alive. I have not taught her technique or skills, but given her a brush and freedom.

I need to give myself this same brush of freedom. To live and try and fail. To not worry if I will mess up and say the wrong thing or say it the wrong way. I need to give myself the freedom to embrace failure so that I can fully sink into Him.

In a world filled with social media, the artist in all of us can freeze. We see the best of what everyone decides to share. Their best work, their best house, their best vacations, their best parenting. We can let this take over and never move, or we can embrace our uniqueness in God and move forward. We are His. I loved these words from Emily. "You are the beloved. So be loved. Receive your belovedness and then hand it out, receive grace and be gracious to others, remember your image-bearing identity and move into the world with a job to do. Show up as you are with what you've been given. And don't allow the voice of doubt and discouragement to hold you back. "  God does not want fear to stop us. He wants us to head straight into that fear and realize we cannot do life without Him. Not one of us can. Let yourself fail and know you gave it your heart. My hope is that we would all create our art and hang it with confidence, just as my daughter did with her creation.

Many of us never move forward because someone else can do it better. In her book, Emily shares that often we fear that "someone else can write better, love better, lead better, speak better, teach better, design better, parent better or pray better." And the truth is simple. They can. I think many of us need to read and re-read these words that Emily shared from her  friend and counselor Steve Lynam,  "There is no new truth, dear. All truth belongs to God. Sometimes you simply need to hear someone else say it."  Emily went on to say, "You may not be the first to say it, write it, create it, or believe it-but you saying it may be the first time someone finally hears. Yes, someone else can say it better, but that doesn't mean you can't say it too. Throw out your inhibitions and spin around in this crazy world of recycled ideas. There is nothing new to say. Say it anyway."  

When I read that I just might have shouted Amen. I needed to read that and I believe many of you do as well. I have a passion to use my camera to capture the beauty I see in my family. I could spend my days stifled because someone has already done this and done it better. Amazing photography can be seen daily online or in publications. But, I am not picking up my camera to be better than anyone. I am not picking up my camera for the world. I am using my my God given gifts to create from my heart and ultimately to Glorify Him. This is why I was made to create and I cannot forget this.

What does living your life as art look like for you, right now? Not as a child, not ten years ago, but today? Every season will bring with it a new canvas. Open your heart and your life and ask God to show you His purpose for your life. In the final chapter of A Million Little Ways, Emily reminds us that " You are an image bearer and that is not about you becoming famous or important or promoted but about you becoming more fully yourself for the glory of God. And when you are fully yourself, everyone benefits."

I challenge myself and I challenge you to really think about these words and to seek Him through it all.  Let's create art with our lives.

"God is the Artist and he made us. We are his poem and we will make art."

The quotes and excerpts I shared in this post all come from A Million Little Ways by Emily P. Freeman. If these thoughts resonate with you, I encourage you to buy her book and read it. And then re-read it.

"Uncover the art you were made to live."

Because the grass isn't always greener

Most often on my  blog I share my heart on motherhood. For quite a few months, my heart has been stirring about another topic. Marriage.

I believe it was Valentine's day when I first started feeling this desire to share on marriage.  I kept seeing advertisements and social media posts about love and relationships and it got me thinking about love.  What love really is and what is isn't.

I read these words on a Valentine's Day post by Ann Voskamp:

"None of us ever know whom we marry. And falling in love never made anyone angels… it’s only made it clear how far we’ve fallen. Who we say ‘I do’ to —  is not who we roll over to touch twenty years later. The challenge for the vows is to fall in love with the stranger to whom you find yourself married.

The vows are a vow to make the stranger you marry —  come to intimately know love everyday.

This is the only way we become married to the right people." 

My husband and I will be married for 15 years in September.  The time has flown by.  Many of us have ideas of marriage that begin at a young age. I grew up in a home with two very loving and committed parents.  My husband did the same. We are  blessed to each have parents that have been married over 40 years. There are many commonalities between our two families: both mother's stayed home full time with the children, both homes had 4 children, both of us were raised in the church.  When we got married I thought that all these things in common would mean the picture perfect life for the two of us.  There were many things I didn't realize and perhaps, didn't even think about.  I had this strange idea when we got married that strong, loving couples would never argue and they would never hurt one another.

Our marriage has not been picture perfect. And to be honest, I don't think there is such thing as a perfect marriage. I believe our marriage is one that will last forever through the good and the bad, filled with an unconditional love and commitment, but it isn't a story of "happily ever after".  Over the last five to ten years we have seen many of our friends get divorced. Marriage is not easy to begin with, but the military life  brings its own set of challenges.  It seems that many people are in love with the idea of the perfect life, including the perfect marriage. No matter how hard you try or plan, it will never be that way. We get married and then experience the reality of living life together. We begin to experience the realities of life's hardships and then we see each other through a different lens. For many, it is easier to walk away when life gets hard. A long lasting marriage takes work, commitment and sacrifice.  Some people never realize that "the grass isn't always greener".  Perhaps, they don't see that other couples have normal arguments and problems to work out.  I remember when we first got married, thinking we were the only couple that ever struggled. Our society in general has this idea of EASY.  Easy is not the answer to a life of joy, and easy is not the road to a forever marriage.

Our marriage would not have survived the past 15 years without Christ at the center of it.  Our life together has been through so many highs and valleys.  We have endured moves, new life, miscarriage, loss, sickness, war, and more.  Life has not been easy. It has been full of blessings, but not without heartache as well.  I know that there are circumstances that marriages simply cannot survive. Circumstances that are too much.  I understand that and my heart aches for so many that have been through this. But I feel that sometimes we get lost in this idea of what love is and should look like, and when it isn't this way, we feel we have failed.

My husband will be the first to share that sometimes his delivery of words is not the most graceful or kind.  His expectations for our home, meals, and other daily routines are some times different than my own. Many times I have felt that I wasn't appreciated or doing enough in his eyes. Many tears have been shed under our roof.  There were times I got in my car and drove off, without any destination, crying out to God and asking Him why? Through the years,  I've seen my husband grow more patient, more appreciative, and more loving, through really giving his life and pursuits to God.

I have my own shortcomings as well. God has shown me areas I also need to continually work on.  I want to exhibit servant hood as Christ did, not only to my children, but to my husband.  I want to live selflessly. I want to show him love that never fails and never gives up. I want to encourage him.  To show him I desire him and love him for the man he is.  I mess up and fail as a wife many times.

But love -- true love, is all of this. It is all of the scars and battle wounds of living together for years. Love isn't a romantic dinner alone. Love isn't a dozen red roses. Love is enduring these valleys of life. Love is getting to know someone for who they really are and loving them just the same.  I've sat in the store reading the cards for Valentine's day and thought to myself, that's not how our love looks. That's not how our life looks together. That's not how I feel. It's okay to let go of that idea of love and romance. Its okay to embrace the messy, the less than ideal, the loud, the behind closed doors.  Its okay, because all of the hard is what has made our love become something more than an attraction to one another. That is what has defined our love.

We were studying relationships in our life group class at church and listened to part of a sermon series by Andy Stanley, an Atlanta based pastor. He said,  “Do everything in your power to become the person who the person you’re looking for is looking for. That’s your best chance for success relationally.”  These words can be applied to couples already dating or married.  Are you being the type of person you want to spend forever with? Are you treating your spouse the way you want to be treated? I have not always been this person.  Not by a long shot.

On our wedding day one of the readers read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.  Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.  These words mean so much more to me now, almost 15 years later.   I want to live out these words.

I share this with you today because I want others to know that a love built on growing, living, and being challenged together, can be so much better than "the white picket fence".  I will often share how much I love my husband and how grateful I am for his love and the sacrifices he makes for our family, but I want everyone to also know, this doesn't come without work.  I once read that falling in love comes easy, but staying in love is the challenge. I thank God for His plan, for bringing my husband and I together to create the family we share and I pray we will share a lifetime more of memories together.

I will leave you with these last words from as sermon my husband recently shared with me.

The goal of a Christian marriage should be a model to the world of God's love for us.

This really is a beautiful way to think of marriage. It isn't easy to live this way daily, but the wonderful things in life are definitely worth working for.

Kaleidoscope | April

Last year I became friends with a very special group of ladies and participated together in a 10 on 10 project.  This year we wanted to continue to do a project together, but wanted to do something a little different.  Our new project is called Kaleidoscope.

Kaleidoscope  is derived from the Ancient Greek (kalos), “beautiful, beauty” (eidos), “that which is seen: form, shape” and (skopeo), “to look to, to examine.”  Hence “observation of beautiful forms.”

We are a group of friends, moms, visual artists and photographers from around the world who are passionate about capturing images of the real, the messy and the magical-the wonder of the everyday.  Like a kaleidoscope, our photographs are playful and experimental, ever-changing and infused with light and colour.  Once a month, we assemble a single mosaic comprised of our collective pictorial tiles, one submitted by each of us, that reflect the shared meaning and beauty in our lives.

This month I captured a Sunday Family Night dinner at our home.  The days are getting longer and we are enjoying longer days down by the lake and in the back yard. I am always grateful to get all of our family together on a weekly basis.

thoughts on project 365

It's almost been three months since I started the Joy Project; my own version of a project 365.  As someone who has always captured the beauty of every day, I don't feel like I am picking up my camera more; yet there have still been some valuable observations. I am really trying to embrace imperfections and messy. I am not necessarily meaning this about life, but about the way I capture our life. Life can definitely be disheveled; often out of order and filled with highs and lows on any given day. I really want to look back on my pictures and be able to relive these moments. I want to be able to feel the days as I do now and to see them years from now with the same fresh eyes I see them with today. This is increasingly more important than a perfectly composed or exposed image.

We are surrounded by family with cousins always in and out of our home and yard. Our home is often loud and chaotic with children interacting and playing.  At other times it is quiet and calm filled with snuggles and intimate conversations.  Most days are slow and savored as we spend them learning about life, playing, and just being together. It is so important to me to teach our children the value of relationships within and outside of our home. To make time for each other and others and not let the busy paced world that surrounds us seep in and take over.

I want to be able to accurately capture the childhood I see my children living. This unique and ever so special season of life is one I thank God for daily. I want to look back on my images and feel the connection to them that I do now.  I feel like each frame I capture is its own note of thanksgiving that I can never find accurate words to express. I don't want to forget anything about these days and this project reminds me of that constantly. I want to hold these memories and remember each of the details without fail.

I look forward to the growth I will stumble upon as I continue this project in the months ahead.

You can see more from the Joy Project here.

30 days of thanks 2013 | week 2

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.  1st Thessalonians 5:16-18 Welcome back for week two of my personal project: 30 days of thanks in pictures.  You can go back and read a bit about this project and see week one here.

Day 8/30

Moving back home to Florida has brought many joys, but there are many things I do truly miss. I miss the change of seasons. I especially miss the fall leaves so full of color and the magical feeling of a first snow each year. But, the other night while down by the lake I couldn't help but think of how lovely the weather really is right now. My son was playing in the water and the sun was just setting over the horizon. While I do miss the seasons, I am so grateful for the weather we have in Florida during the fall and winter. It is pretty beautiful most days. And once in a while we get a snap of cool air, but then you know the warm mild days will be back.

Day 9/30

It doesn't matter if Daddy is gone 9 months, 9 weeks, or 9 days...the excitement seeing his car coming home is always the same. I am grateful to share life with a man that brings us so much love and joy, that sacrifices so much for our family and country, and that makes the most of every day together. No, every day is not bliss in 14 years of marriage; but each day spent living and learning together is something to be so thankful for.

Day 10/30

"Most of our days are filled with routine duties required for life to continue with any sort of sanity. But if we take the time look closely, we might discover that God is using these normal activities to prepare us for future tasks, each duty pointing to His blessing in our lives." -Priscilla Shirer

Any day of the week you will find me in my home. No make up. Shorts and a t-shirt. Hair on top of my head. Dishes in the sink. Laundry to be done. Teaching my children. This is my ordinary. I am grateful today for my ordinary. For the gift I have been given with such a beautiful purpose to teach, love and guide my children daily. For the right now in my life. I am thankful that God has shown me more blessings than I ever dreamed in these ordinary moments.

Day 11/30

"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy - I'm telling you it's going to be worth it." ― Art Williams

When we started homeschooling many people asked me what I was going to do to "entertain" our youngest child while schooling the other children. Some even suggested that I send her to pre-school to make things easier. My husband and I decided that we would have her stay home with our other children. Three years later, I am so grateful for this decision. We have so many memories of us all together during our days. Yes, sometimes, it is a challenge. She is at a busy age, but an age that is so fun to watch and nurture. I love getting to see the older children work with her on skills. I love being able to watch her love of art and learning grow. I love having her with us throughout our days. She learns so much by being around her older siblings....and honestly they even learn quite a bit by having her around too

Day 12/30

Our home is usually a pretty noisy place. One that is filled with laughter and learning at most times during the day. (And yes, there are bound to be times I hear arguing as well). With three children home there isn't a lot of quiet. But I wouldn't trade our life for any other way. I love the noise and I love having our house filled with children. I love when the cousins and neighbors are in our home. BUT to be honest, by the end of the day, I crave quiet. I love order and I am ready to relax. Some nights, I don't ever find this because I fall asleep getting the kids all to bed. But when I do, it is something I am very grateful for.

Day 13/30

Sometimes, I feel and look just like this when life doesn't seem to go my way. I want to cry, kick and scream, and just ask why? Today I am thankful to know that even though I may not understand God's plan always, I do know He loves me and His plan is always best.

"God's purposes are not for me to understand His plans: His plan is for me to understand Who He is." -AnnVoskamp.com

 Day 14/30

"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart."  -Kahlil Gibran

Even as we teach our children that their beauty is found inside of them, there is something beautiful to me about the magical world of dress up.   Our youngest sits fascinated by make up, dresses, and tiaras.  She twirls and sings and acts out various roles as she plays.  I am grateful for these moments and the beautiful girl I see before me. No, not beautiful because of her dress or her makeup, but because of that shining light in her heart.  That light, that is what I am grateful for.

"gratitude changes everything" -unknown

What are you grateful for today?

10 on 10 | the November edition

There's something so timeless and soulful about black and white photography that I really appreciate.   More often than not, when I click my shutter, I am visualizing that moment in black and white. The light and the dark come together in such a fascinating way. Shadows really stand out, as do beautiful highlights.  This month's 10 on 10 includes 10 black and white images that I captured throughout the month.

Please be sure to continue on to the blog of the super talented Rowe Timson. She lives quite the exciting life in Bali.   I always love her images.

30 days of thanks 2013 | week 1

I will thank you, Lord, among all the people. I will sing your praises among the nations. Psalm 57:9 It seems like as soon as October 1st hits, the Holiday and Christmas rush begins.  I think November is a wonderful time to slow down and look around our lives at the many blessings God has bestowed on us. It's a time to rejoice in all things.  To be honest, I really want to live with a grateful heart all times of the year.  I am documenting 30 days of thanks in pictures for the second year in a row. I loved looking back on these sweet blessings at the end of November last fall so I knew I wanted to do it again.

I have been reading 1000 gifts by Ann Voscamp since summer (I am a slow reader) and it really is a beautiful way to live...to really seek God in all things.  To live a life seeking  the beautiful gifts awaiting us each day. They may not always seem big, but they are never insignificant.   This way of life doesn't mean we will not face heartache, bad days, rough patches, despair, loss, or any thing else that can bring us down. No,  we will always find valleys in our lives,but you can find beauty and light even in these dark hours. You just have to have your eyes open to it.

Day 1/30

I am thankful that no matter where I look in my home, there are traces of children, traces of life, love and living together as a family. I never want to take these for granted.

This picture is a little reminder of a day painting leaves, because otherwise our leaves here in Florida do not have much color.

 Day 2/30

I love that many mornings we wake up with one or two or even three extra bodies in our bed; even if it feels super crowded and my sleep is disturbed. I love this because most days it feels like they are growing up way too fast, but this is a reminder that they do still need us..that they still love our comfort, our touch, and our presence. And this fills my heart.

 Day 3/30

"your lovely even with your scars" -amy grant

I have struggled with people pleasing and perfectionism as long as I can remember. In doing this, many times I have questioned if I am enough? I am starting to see that my oldest daughter struggles in similar ways. Today, I am grateful for the way God brings His message to us through music. We were in the car when Amy Grant's Don't Try So Hard came on the radio. It was a such a blessing to be reminded that we are more than enough in the Lord, and that His Grace is never ending. To be reminded we don't need to try so hard. And what a gift to talk about the meaning of this song with my 9 year old.

Day 4/30

Over the past six years Alzheimer's has taken so much away from my father-n-law and our family. But today I rejoice and am beyond thankful that there are still precious moments like these. I am so grateful my children get to have this time with their Grandfather and can see the love that he still feels for them. It's a reminder that even in the hardest of circumstances, God is still very much there.

Day 5/30

At first glance this photograph looks similar to many others I have of our four year old--our sweet child who loves to paint. As her mama, I know the story and feeling behind the pictures making each one unique and special. I could capture her like this daily, in her world, in her element. I feel so blessed to get to watch her enthusiasm, her imagination, and her love for creating come alive. I pray she will always have this spirit.

Day 6/30

I must admit I am not the best doggie mama at times...somewhere between having our children and my husband leaving for countless deployments our faithful friend seemed to get less of my attention. But, I am so grateful for the 14 years of companionship he has brought us. I am grateful that my children give him the love he deserves. We have so many memories with him and I am forever grateful. My children have never known life without him...he is our family♥

Day 7/30

This week I realized we had reached a milestone in our home. It was the first time in almost 10 years that no one needed a diaper or a pull-up. (not for day, not for night, not at all) I think back over these years of there always being a baby in the home. I am grateful to all the memories...the life that has been lived. Long nights at times. Tantrums. New Words. Giggles. So much learning in the early years. Today I look at our three little people..our three blessings and I thank God for who they are each becoming. It's hard to realize they are getting older, but I see them in a such a beautiful way with the wings they are growing.

When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow. - Shauna Niequist

You can come back next Friday to see my next week of gratefulness.  And if you are doing a project too, I'd love you to comment. I am enjoying following so many other people on this journey this month.

more thoughts on saying yes

Almost 6 months ago I wrote a post about saying yes more to our children and how thankful I was for the joy I found in the "yes-es".   It really is a never-ending choice we have as parents...the choice to say yes; to inconvenience our selves sometimes, the choice to give up something else to make the yes happen, the choice to stop what we are doing and really give our children the attention they are asking for.  The questions can come in all different ways.  I would be lying to say over the last six months, since my first post,  that I always have said yes.  I haven't. I am human, we all are.  Not one of us are perfect mamas and we shouldn't ever feel like we need to be.  This isn't really about always saying yes, but about not always saying no. And sometimes, as I said before, yes is unreasonable.  But I have seen time and time again,  when I do say yes something special happens. Over the last two weeks I was able to experience the joy in saying yes.

My husband recently took our three children to a store in town called Spirit Halloween. I had never been in this store.  I really thought it was kind of silly to be honest. Halloween just isn't one of my favorite holidays.  The kids came home so excited over all of the costumes they had seen.  My 4 year old was most enthusiastic because she had seen a bumble bee and she had decided that was what she was going to be for Halloween. For a couple of days I ignored her chatter about this bumble bee idea.  I thought she could be a princesss.  We certainly have a lot of princess costumes in our dress up closet and with three children, this would certainly save money and be one less costume to plan for.   It made sense to me to not buy another costume, to not say yes to the bumble bee. BUT, she had her own idea.  She did not stop talking about the bumble bee she was going to be.   This was the first year she showed an interest in what she would be for Halloween, so it got me thinking and  I decided we would buy the costume and she would get to be a bumble bee. I cannot tell you how excited she was the day her costume arrived.   I was so grateful to have said yes.  I was so grateful to see her smile, her enthusiasm and joy dancing and twirling and buzzing in her costume.

This week brought another chance to say yes in such a simple way, but similarly it brought my daughter so much joy. Each year we love to paint pumpkins close to Halloween. In Florida, it seems like the carved pumpkins rot quickly and the painting is such a fun alternative.   My youngest was painting her little baby pumpkin this week and we decided to add glitter.  I gave her a very small amount, thinking it would add a fun sparkle to her creation. She asked me if she could have some more.  I gave her a bit more. She then asked if she could do it herself. We all know how messy glitter can be and we all know that a four year old isn't the most delicate at "doing it herself". My first instinct was to say no, let mama do it, but I decided to say yes.  In my head at that moment I thought glitter is not the most expensive thing and that she would have so much fun and feel a sense of independence.   And indeed, she had the most wonderful time using up every last bit of glitter and YES there was a huge mess.  But, it was in that mess I was reminded again of how important it is to not always automatically say no.  I share this because I know it is easier to say no a lot of the time.  I have been there and am still there many days.  But these experiences, they really make me think each time another opportunity to say yes is presented.   I am thankful for these lessons as a mother and I am thankful for yes.

11 on 11 | october

"Suddenly, there is inner stillness. And within that stillness there is a subtle but intense joy, there is love, there is peace."-Eckhart Tolle

Last month I started this fun new project called 11 on 11. You can see my first post and read about the project here.  This month I am back..and well, I am breaking the rules a bit.  I do have my 11 images, but the image with "me included"  did not happen this month.  I promise to be back next time with one, but I didn't want to miss out completely this month.

We had a rainy morning one day  this week and my daughter had a wonderful time with her watercolors. She loves to paint more than anything, so I try to let her do this as often as possible.  I love to hear about what she is creating and watch while she works.   This morning was no exception; she was so full of life as she painted her beautiful creations.

Please follow along to the blog of Fran Barker and see what wonderful images she has to share this month.  Her work is always beautiful.

10 on 10 | the october edition

This month for my 10 on 10 I decided to pick 10 images from a project I recently took part in called the 5 minute project.  Essentially, you capture life around you in 5 minutes.  You can read more about this awesome project here.   I decided to capture 5 minutes at the soccer field, because we happen to spend a lot of time there.  My daughter and her cousin have the best time having their own practices while their big sisters are playing.  As I looked through my images, I loved seeing the little subtleties that go on in five minutes.   You can see more of the images I captured here.

Next up in our blog circle is Jackie Tyghem l Boca Raton Lifestyle Photographer who always captures her day to day in a most lovely way.

cherish this day | october

"Life is fleeting. It is to be enjoyed."-Tori Amos

One morning this week my 4 year old daughter woke up asking for her cousin to come play.   We had a car to get washed, groceries to buy, dinner to start, and schoolwork to be completed.  BUT I told her that we would try our best to have her over some time during the day.  While out grocery shopping we stopped in the dollar tree and stocked up on some fun craft supplies: glitter, foam crowns,  and sequins.   I was able to talk to my sister n law and arrange a play date while our older kids were at church later that afternoon and evening. It was perfect because I was able to give the little girls my full attention so we could make beautiful princess crowns.   We couldn't have asked a more glorious evening, so I set up all of our supplies on a picnic table in the yard. I gave the girls the glue, paint, glitter and sequins and let them have fun until their hearts were content.  Glitter was thrown, paint was spilled, and the mess was everywhere. It was wonderful.   Everyday beauty....it's a true gift indeed.

Now, head on over to the Cherish this Day Blog and see what other beautiful every day moments have been captured.

kids were here | october 2013

"If you must look back, do so forgivingly. If you must look forward, do so prayerfully. However, the wisest thing you can do is be present in the present... Gratefully." -Maya Angelou

be sure to head on over now to the Kids Were Here Blog and see all the wonderful images our group has collectively shared.

beautiful light and a lot of love

I have not been doing many family sessions over the past year, because I made the decision to put my own family first.  I love capturing families together, but I realized it took far too much time away from my children and they are still so young. I don't ever want to look back and regret the way I chose to use my time. I made an exception for this session of course, because it is my sister and her family. Since I have moved back home I have loved getting to watch her family grow.  I am so blessed that these little ones are a part of my daily life now.

four today

Today you are four.  I watch you daily in your magical world...in your world of dress up, dancing, and singing. I see you and I see joy.  You are a gift to us all.  I pray you will never lose your zest for life, your curiosity about the world around you, and your love for creating beautiful things.    We love you to the moon and back...today and always.

infectious joy

“Joy is the realest reality, the fullest life, and joy is always given, never grasped. God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given: joy.” ― Ann Voskamp

Last week one evening my niece was over playing with my youngest daughter.   As I watched them, I couldn't help but feel the joy.  Their squeals were loudly heard in the back yard and their smiles were radiating almost as bright as the evening sun. At 3 it seems pretty easy to be joyful.   Worry and disappointment comes in the form of not getting to buy another app on the I Pad or not getting one more cookie for dessert.  These sweet cousins were not even aware they had a limited 45 minutes to play together that night.  They just lived those 45 minutes to the fullest, without a thought elsewhere.

It makes me wonder, as we get older, when does this natural joyous state begin to change, and why does it have to?  As I've mentioned before I've been reading 1000 gifts by Ann Voskamp.  I have been challenged to open my heart to the gifts all around me. I have been challenged to see the seemingly insignificant as beautiful as God intended it to be. I desire to let go of the worrying about tomorrow and embrace each day and moment for what it is. As I look at these images today, I am reminded to live joyfully and to open my heart to the fullest life God has to offer.  I know that God is presenting this gift to me daily and I want to open my heart and grasp it always.   Sometimes, this is easy. But, admittedly, sometimes it has to be done with a conscious effort.  In either case, it is there waiting for all of us.

There really is so much beauty waiting to be appreciated in any direction I look.   And for these 45 minutes, it was indeed pure bliss.  It was giggles, swinging, sunlight, little hands and barefeet, lake breezes,  blonde curls, a sweet dimple.

I am thankful for this joy.